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femtocachinged adj. You are drunk and storing tiny private signals in places no network administrator would inspect. Ariani got femtocachinged and attempted to improve reception beneath the pub's piano. femtocandelaed adj. Of a drinker: emitting a quadrillionth of a candela, but insisting the room is brightly lit. femtocelled adj. Of a drinker who has reduced the household telecommunications network to the radius of the sofa. Eniyah became femtocelled and held the family call from beneath a blanket in the sitting room. femtochemistried adj. Describing a drinker who compresses every reaction into a brief flash, usually on discovering the bill. femtocoulombed adj. A drinker who carries a quadrillionth of a coulomb and discharges it upon the nearest door handle. Kapono was femtocoulombed and treated the pub door as a minor electrical experiment. femtoelectronvolted adj. A drinker so far gone that a quadrillionth of an electronvolt constitutes a demanding journey upstairs. Jonovan became femtoelectronvolted and regarded the two steps to the lavatory as an ambitious expedition. femtoengineeringed adj. The state of being drunk and redesigning subatomic particles when the immediate problem is opening a packet of nuts. Dim became femtoengineeringed and proposed rearranging quarks before tackling the sealed peanuts. femtofaraded adj. The condition of a drinker who can store a quadrillionth of a farad, but not tomorrow's appointments. Shawndel was femtofaraded and confidently stored the evening's charge in an empty pint glass. femtogramed adj. The drunkenness of one who weighs a quadrillionth of a gram, yet requires assistance with a coat. Eurica became femtogramed and claimed to be weightless until the cloakroom attendant found a chair. femtogrammed adj. Reduced by drink to a quadrillionth of a gram, and still somehow responsible for the heaviest coat in the room. Jauwana was femtogrammed and asked whether the cloakroom could weigh her scarf. femtoinjectioned adj. Softened by drink into receiving minute quantities of anything, particularly gravy from a reluctant spoon. Chaning became femtoinjectioned and accepted a careful dose of gravy from the Sunday lunch. femtojouled adj. Sharpened by drink into expending a quadrillionth of a joule on the decisive act of opening crisps. Tanley was femtojouled and approached the crisp packet with disproportionate mechanical purpose. femtokataled adj. Loosened by drink into catalysing a quadrillionth of a katal, chiefly when asked to make tea. Habeba became femtokataled and initiated the tea-making process without locating the kettle. femtolensinged adj. Emboldened by drink to magnify the smallest light-dependent discrepancy, especially the fridge bulb. Salvadore became femtolensinged and investigated the fridge bulb's behaviour across several wavelengths. femtolitered adj. Slowed by drink to contain a quadrillionth of a litre, then asking whether the glass is nearly full. femtolitred adj. Drunk and reduced to the capacity of a quadrillionth of a litre, though still ordering a large one. Tamajah was femtolitred and insisted the nearly empty glass represented a substantial volume.