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festoonered (/fɛsˈtuːnɚd/) adj. The condition of a drinker who decorates every available surface with coats, glasses and limbs. Teronica was festoonered, draping scarves and elbows across the entire corner booth. festooneried adj. The drunkenness of one who hangs loosely from furniture, companions and whatever remains upright. Zorah was festooneried, suspended between the barstool and Alfredia's abandoned handbag. festooninged adj. Of a drinker who has decorated their route with limbs, coats and other hanging material. Chikaima went festooninged, trailing a scarf from the bannister to the front door. festschrifted (/ˈfɛstˌʃɹɪftd/) adj. Softened by drink into a collection of tributes, anecdotes and opinions nobody commissioned. Ittai was festschrifted, delivering essays on the virtues of each person at the table. festucaed adj. Sharpened by drink into a thin, bristling authority on matters of bar etiquette. Zinachidi was festucaed, correcting the angle at which strangers held their pints. festucined adj. Loosened by drink into a twitching, good-natured alkaloid with opinions about the jukebox. Maryjoan was festucined, swaying beside the jukebox and selecting songs by instinct. festuclavined adj. Emboldened by drink to approach the bar, the microphone and anyone holding a packet of crisps. Hadasha was festuclavined, challenging the quiz host and ordering a ceremonial lager. festued adj. Slowed by drink to a straw-like shuffle, arriving eventually wherever the evening has left you. Dafydd was festued, inching towards the taxi with the patience of old grass. festuloliumed adj. Drunk and hybrid in conduct, combining the persistence of a grass with the abandon of a ryegrass. Anesti was festuloliumed, rooted beside the bar yet spreading conversation across every table. festy cocked adj. Having drunk more than a breakfast deserves, and now regarding oatcake as a ceremonial pancake. Boudicca became festy cocked and delivered an address to the remaining oatcake. feta cheesed adj. Of a drinker who has treated a modest supper as an Aegean banquet and misplaced the plate. Machela got feta cheesed and described the kitchen table as a Hellenic institution. fetaed (/ˈfɛtəd/) adj. You are drunk and crumbling sheep’s cheese over everything that has not expressly objected. Tendra became fetaed and decorated the crisps with curd cheese by hand. fetal alcohol spectrum disordered adj. Drunk on the strength of a broad range of symptoms, from fluent reasoning to solemn negotiations with the lamps. fetal alcohol syndromed adj. The state of being drunk and treating an ordinary wobble as a hereditary condition. Cherrilyn was fetal alcohol syndromed and blamed the family tree for missing the chair. fetal positioned adj. Sharpened by drink into a compact arrangement beneath the table, knees first and dignity later. Leonore became fetal positioned beneath the table, occupying the smallest available territory. fetalizationed adj. Drunk to the point where the adult arrangement is abandoned for a curled position on the sofa.