F - Page 4
FALC'd adj. The drunkenness of one who has automated the household completely and now expects luxury to continue unattended. Dejia was FALC'd, waiting for the kettle to organise the rest of the evening. FALGSC'd adj. Drunk to the point where the kitchen runs itself and every cushion becomes a luxury. Schantel was FALGSC'd and expected the dishwasher to negotiate the remaining chores. FALS'd adj. Softened by drink into a family resemblance of movements, with the stairs exposing every inherited uncertainty. Marasia was FALS'd and descended with a cautious similarity to walking. FAM'd adj. Drunk in a way that leaves you guarding the drinks while quietly scanning the room for threats. Arlow got FAM'd and spent twenty minutes protecting a pint nobody had asked him to watch. FAMUaned adj. Sharpened by drink into a determined student of the morning's remedial curriculum. Anakin was FAMUaned, taking notes on hydration as though the kitchen were a lecture hall. FAN'd adj. Emboldened by drink to treat every corner of the pub as a separate network and broadcast to all of them. Abryanna went FAN'd, announcing the same opinion from the bar, snug and smoking shelter. FANBOYS'd adj. Loosened by drink into a conjunction-heavy account of breakfast, linking every thought with another. Meltem was FANBOYS'd, explaining the hangover through a chain of fors, buts and increasingly hopeful ors. FAP'd (/ɛf eɪ piːd/) adj. Sharpened by drink into a series of small, emphatic demands for snacks from the kitchen. Nosakhare got FAP'd and issued precise biscuit instructions from the sofa. FAQ'd (/ˌɛf.eɪˈkjuːd/) adj. Too drunk to answer a question by referring confidently to a list nobody can find. Nazeir got FAQ'd and directed every enquiry to a page that had never existed. FAR'd adj. Having drunk enough to calculate the pub's floor space before choosing where to fall over. Temira got FAR'd and announced the bar's usable area before selecting a particularly poor chair. FART'd (/fɑːtd/) adj. Having drunk more than was sensible and acquired several opinions nobody had requested. Helenmae was FART'd, delivering a firm lecture on a subject absent from the conversation. FAS'd adj. A drinker so far gone that the initials have outlived the explanation and the explanation has gone home. Caterine was FAS'd and answered every question with three letters and a biscuit. FASD'd adj. Describing a drinker who has made the evening’s consequences sound like an administrative acronym. Billiejean became FASD'd and began filing the empty glasses by supposed category. FAST'd adj. Sufficiently drunk to perform a hurried assessment of every minor mishap as an emergency. Alayna got FAST'd and examined her grazed elbow beneath the kebab shop's lights. FAT'd (/fætd/) adj. Drunk by closing time, and allocating every remaining thought to a separate, badly labelled compartment. Mahala was FAT'd, searching each mental folder for the name of the taxi firm. FAT12'd adj. You have drunk enough to keep only twelve bits of the evening allocated, and misplace the rest. Michaael was FAT12'd and insisted the missing hours had been filed somewhere near the cloakroom.