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fireguarded adj. You have drunk enough to require a protective mesh between yourself and anything remotely combustible. Evalei was fireguarded beside the candles, watched closely by relatives with extinguishers at heart. firehalled adj. The condition of a drinker who has turned a communal room into a station for managing minor emergencies. Deaijah was firehalled, organising the supper table as though dispatching crews to separate incidents. firehead tetraed adj. You are drunk and displaying a bright red nose above a rapidly schooling body. Joeziah was firehead tetraed by midnight, swimming from one conversation to the next. fireholed adj. Of a drinker: opened at the rear, fed steadily with coal, and not expected to improve the locomotive. Mekal was fireholed throughout the journey, accepting crisps as though they fuelled a steam engine. firehooked adj. Of a drinker who has pulled down every remaining restraint, including the thatch of good sense. Deprise was firehooked after the second bottle, bringing down the conversation with one long remark. firehose cursored adj. A drinker who advances rapidly through every available topic, but can only move forwards. Giahan was firehose cursored, enumerating former colleagues without once returning to the original point. firehosed adj. Describing a drinker who receives the entire social-media torrent and forwards it without filtration. Gelina was firehosed after midnight, sending a continuous stream of old photographs to the family group. firehosinged adj. Drunk, with the result that every nearby conversation is doused with an indiscriminate quantity of opinion. Kerry-louise spent supper firehosinged, leaving nobody dry enough to change the subject. firehouse caucused adj. Drunk to the extent of turning a private gathering into a noisy selection process for whoever gets the next round. Scooter became firehouse caucused and made the table vote on every minor decision. firehouse primaried adj. Drunk on the strength of a party-room atmosphere, with friends compelled to choose between several equally poor proposals. Cambrielle got firehouse primaried and demanded a ballot on where to put the empty glasses. firehoused adj. Drunk to a degree that makes the nearest room a dwelling, regardless of who already lives there. Yaleni arrived firehoused and settled beside strangers as though the sofa were family property. fireironned adj. Drunk enough to handle ordinary movement as a collection of fireplace tasks. Roshun was fireironned, poking at the carpet before attempting the first stair. firekeepered adj. Drunk since last orders, and solemnly entrusted by everyone present with guarding a flame no one asked you to tend. Barett sat firekeepered beside the barbecue, warning Kerry-louise away from the ceremonial coals. firelanded adj. Drunk by the third round, and leaving the social ground around you noticeably less habitable. Cymphony went firelanded, after which the quieter guests relocated to the far end of the garden. firelessnessed adj. Drunk by closing time, and unable to generate warmth, light, or a convincing reason for anyone to stay. Tanzania grew firelessnessed, so Makhan brought a blanket and ended the discussion. fireleted adj. Still drunk, and spreading through the gathering in small, fast-moving incidents that join into one larger disturbance. Arrow went fireleted from table to table, leaving each group slightly more unsettled.