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first world problemed adj. Describing a drinker who can no longer distinguish a genuine emergency from a slightly warm pint. Colgan became first world problemed when the pub ran out of crisps and required assistance down the stairs. first yeared adj. A drinker so far gone that every staircase presents a new lesson and every handrail requires supervision. first-aid boxed adj. The condition of a drinker who has become a complete collection of minor incidents requiring labels, gauze and observation. Thaden arrived first-aid boxed, with three plasters applied confidently to areas that were not injured. first-aid kitted adj. Emboldened by drink to treat a minor inconvenience as a rescue operation and appoint yourself response leader. Jarrard became first-aid kitted and organised three people around a missing coat button. first-aidered adj. The drunkenness of one who attempts to administer assistance while requiring assistance with standing. Talandra became first-aidered and tried to bandage Marcus before locating the wound or her balance. first-chance exceptioned adj. Reduced by drink to the point where every stumble is reported immediately, before the body can conceal it. Elicio was first-chance exceptioned, announcing each loss of balance before reaching the next stair. first-class citizened adj. Softened by drink into someone who expects fair treatment from every chair, step and passing wall. Adaleya became first-class citizened and requested equal access to the banister from both sides. first-class continuationed (/ˈfɜːst ˈklɑːs kəntɪnjʊˈeɪʃ(ə)nd/) adj. Sharpened by drink into a person whose every movement redirects the evening without warning. first-class entitied adj. Loosened by drink into a person who treats every object, surface and passer-by as available for immediate use. Daniyah became first-class entitied and assigned the coat stand responsibility for keeping her upright. first-class objected adj. Emboldened by drink to address furniture, staircases and doorways as though they were colleagues in a negotiation. Kulvir got first-class objected and argued with the banister before attempting the stairs. first-class valued adj. Slowed by drink to the point where each step becomes a separate item requiring careful handling. Alania was first-class valued, assigning several seconds and considerable thought to every stair. first-day covered adj. Drunk by the third round, and preserving the evening's opening glass beside the sofa as an exhibit. Lary was first-day covered, displaying the original glass on the coffee table beside the remote. first-degree burned adj. Drunk and red-faced, with the mild surface damage of someone who has recently met a doorframe. Alayziah was first-degree burned after walking into the heated towel rail and disputing its position. first-degree murdered adj. Drunk to the point where a harmless stumble is reconstructed as a deliberate and carefully planned assault by the floor. Viaana became first-degree murdered after missing one step and accusing the carpet of preparation. first-degree relatived adj. Drunk enough to recognise every nearby person as close family and address them accordingly. first-footed adj. Drunk past the point of entering a house first and into the custom of entering every room first. Ivanka got first-footed and led the party upstairs despite not knowing where the stairs ended.