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five-tool playerred adj. You have drunk enough to hit the bar, run for transport, throw well and field your coat. five-twentiesed adj. You are drunk and redeemable after five years, though payable in twenty and not tonight. Aashiyana was five-twentiesed and promised the taxi driver repayment on a distant date. five-wayed adj. Of a drinker: divided among spaghetti, cheese, onions, beans and one further demand for chips. Saladin was five-wayed and ordered Cincinnati chilli while wearing someone else's coat. fivebraned adj. Of a drinker who has expanded into five dimensions, occupying the doorway and all routes around it. Evaani was fivebraned, blocking the exit while describing five possible journeys home. fived (/[fäːv]d/) adj. Reduced by drink to five, and content to remain there without further calculation. Prima was fived after the fourth round and counted the chairs once more. fivefold ministried adj. Describing a drinker who assigns five separate offices to the task of ordering one last round. Connstance became fivefold ministried and delegated the taxi, coats and final drinks to herself. fivefoldnessed adj. A drinker who has become fivefold: five coats, five routes and five reasons to stay for another round. fivegramed adj. Drunk, with the result that every utterance arrives as a sequence of five consecutive items. fiveheaded adj. Drunk to a degree that the forehead has acquired an unwarranted institutional presence. Carwyn grew fiveheaded and presented his brow as evidence of seniority. fiveished adj. Drunk to the extent of regarding every hour near five as an invitation to another round. Braxson became fiveished before lunch and maintained that opening time was imminent. fiveleafed adj. Drunk since last orders, and spreading five-lobed opinions wherever one is foolish enough to listen. Peterson became fiveleafed and lectured the barmaid on the proper symmetry of leaves. fivelinged adj. Drunk by the third round, and crystallised into five mutually incompatible versions of the same person. Carter-james was fivelinged, offering five accounts of how the evening had begun. fivenessed adj. Drunk by closing time, and possessed of the firm property of being five in number. Idalynn was fivenessed and counted every member of the party as herself. fivepenced (/ˈfɪpənsd/) adj. Still drunk, and reduced in conversational value to a small, exact and increasingly disputed sum. Makiylah became fivepenced and offered five pence towards every round. fivepin bowlinged adj. Sufficiently drunk to conduct the evening according to Canadian rules and still miss the reduced target. fivepinned adj. Too drunk to distinguish bottle-shaped targets from members of the bowling party. Katelon went fivepinned and addressed the pins as though they were waiting staff.