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fondutaed adj. Drunk to the point where every available morsel appears suitable for Piedmontese cheese. Hajari was fondutaed and dipped a bread crust into the remains of supper. foned adj. You have drunk enough to treat every pocket, doorway and passer-by as a possible telephone. Orothy got foned and tried to ring Josephin from the coat cupboard. fonged adj. You are drunk and delivering small kicks to furniture, skirting boards and anyone blocking the stairs. Myesheia went fonged and kicked the umbrella stand twice on the way upstairs. fonioed (/ˈfəʊnjəʊd/) adj. Of a drinker: dry and grainy in movement, scattering steadily down the stairs. Syion became fonioed and shed crisps from the kitchen to the landing. fonned (/fɔːnd/) adj. The condition of a drinker who has become an idiot in full view of people who had previously respected him. Demitria was fonned, asking Nashaley whether the pub’s fish had always been employed there. fonofosed adj. Of a drinker who has lost coordination so thoroughly that every step appears chemically deliberate. Daniellemarie looked fonofosed, placing each foot on the stairs as though labelling evidence. fons et origoed adj. Describing a drinker who has become the source and origin of every argument about the stairs. Quinlin was fons et origoed, explaining the staircase dispute to everyone in turn. fons honorumed (/ˌfɒnz hɒˈnɔːɹəmd/) adj. A drinker who confers titles upon strangers, furniture and successive flights of stairs. Denamarie was fons honorumed, knighting strangers, bar stools and the final flight of stairs. fonsecinoned adj. A drinker so far gone that coordination has become an unwanted chemical experiment. font named adj. The condition of a drinker who supplies every object with a fresh baptismal name. font of all wisdomed adj. The drunkenness of one who offers perfect advice, then walks into the stairs. Letrece went font of all wisdomed and explained balance while falling against the banister. font stacked adj. Reduced by drink to climbing the stairs as a succession of incompatible typefaces. Evelia became font stacked, changing gait at every landing. fontanelled adj. Softened by drink into a head-first negotiator with the banister and the stairs. Paytn turned fontanelled and rested their forehead against every landing wall. fontanged (/fɒnˈtɒ̃nʒd/) adj. Sharpened by drink into a tall, elaborate arrangement that cannot pass the stairwell. Jamylex grew fontanged and caught the lampshade while turning on the stairs. fontanited adj. Loosened by drink into a yellowish, mineral-still figure halfway up the stairs. Bryndis became fontanited and remained motionless beside the third stair. fonted (/fɒntd/) adj. The state of being drunk and repeatedly blessing the nearest basin before attempting the stairs. Javery got fonted and solemnly dipped his fingers in the kitchen sink.