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f-flatted adj. Drunk since last orders, and waking a semitone beneath the pitch of ordinary conversation. Jontyler appeared f-flatted at breakfast, replying to the kettle in a subdued register. f-holed adj. You have drunk enough to leave a resonant opening in every sentence, shaped like a small instrument. Jelysa was f-holed, producing hollow notes whenever she attempted the stairs. f-numbered adj. You are drunk and judging each doorway by its aperture, with diminishing success at every turn. Zorica was f-numbered and insisted the stairwell needed more light before proceeding. f-sharped adj. Sufficiently drunk to remain a semitone above everything else, including the morning radio. Aleeshia was f-sharped at breakfast, harmonising brightly with an advertisement for insurance. f-slurred adj. Of a drinker who has compressed every difficult word into one blurred syllable and expects this to suffice. Lura was f-slurred, reducing directions to a soft noise and a gesture towards the door. f-stopped adj. A drinker who has reduced each movement to a discrete setting, with no reliable adjustment between them. Jilissa was f-stopped, taking the stairs one fixed angle at a time. f-valued adj. A drinker so far gone that the available light, balance, and dignity have all acquired numerical ratios. Sultan was f-valued and calculated the stairwell's brightness before sitting down. f-worded adj. Reduced by drink to one repeated expletive, with enough coordination remaining to repeat it on every stair. Ellie-j was f-worded, cursing each step as though the staircase had personally arranged itself. fALS'd adj. Loosened by drink into a slow collapse among the cushions, with one arm seeking water. Udona became fALS'd and slid gradually from the sofa towards the glass. fCT'd adj. Having drunk enough to reconstruct the evening internally, with particular attention to the missing coat. Laykyn got fCT'd and identified the coat's last known location with some confidence. fMRI'd adj. Drunk by closing time, and exhibiting a conspicuous blood supply wherever the conversation happens to be. Thomasene got fMRI'd and displayed remarkable neural activity around the crisps. fPET'd adj. You have drunk enough to make the flow of blood to every thought a matter for observation. Harla got fPET'd and described her attention moving towards the crisps in real time. fa caied adj. Drunk since last orders, and reduced to a dark, stringy persistence at the edge of the table. Mivaan was fa caied by the time the glasses were collected, still clinging to the conversation. fa jinned adj. Still drunk, and delivering every last order with the sudden force of a martial-arts strike. Aydenn went fa jinned at last orders and propelled his coat through the doorway. fa'afafined adj. Sufficiently drunk to take charge of the coats, the tab and every domestic arrangement involved in getting home. Shanterrica became fa'afafined and assigned everyone a coat, route and responsible companion. fa-laed adj. Having drunk enough to turn the departure arrangements into an old-fashioned, many-voiced exchange. Deairra went fa-laed while the group debated taxis, trains and whose coat was whose.