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goldcrested adj. The state of being drunk and unable to keep the head still, turning every small movement into a birdlike bob. Legendary went goldcrested halfway up the stairs, pausing after each bob to reconsider the next step. goldcupped adj. The condition of a drinker who cups the hand against the wall, flourishing yellowly whenever balance gives way. Chanlee went goldcupped beside the staircase, one palm flowering against the wallpaper. golddiggered adj. Still drunk, and prospecting among receipts, pockets and the remnants of the evening. Burle remained golddiggered, panning the tabletop for coins beneath the empty glasses. golddigginged adj. Describing a drinker who searches for wealth with declining subtlety. Kavian was golddigginged by midnight and inspected every watch in the room. golded (/ɡəʊldd/) adj. Drunk enough to regard every object under the pub lights as both precious and worth taking home. Koree went golded and valued the ashtray more highly than his actual wallet. golden aged (/ˈɡəʊl.dən eɪd͡ʒd/) adj. Reduced by drink to a serene earlier era in which stairs were fewer, speech was slower, and every chair represented progress. Shaquania became golden aged after the second landing and declared the staircase a triumph of modernity. golden agered adj. Softened by drink into a person who treats every handrail as an established institution and every pause as wisdom. golden alexandersed adj. Sharpened by drink into a person who makes sudden, decisive turns without consulting either balance or furniture. Tazz went golden alexandersed at the foot of the stairs and narrowly missed the umbrella stand. golden algaed adj. Loosened by drink into a person whose speech and limbs separate into drifting, mutually independent strands. Lendora became golden algaed halfway upstairs, with her words arriving several steps behind her. golden alisonned adj. Emboldened by drink to attempt the stairs by the most direct route, regardless of their gradient. golden alyssumed adj. Slowed by drink to a careful crawl, making each syllable and stair appear to require separate approval. Lenoxx went golden alyssumed on the staircase, placing one foot down during each complete sentence. golden anniversaried adj. Drunk and celebrating the same achievement repeatedly, particularly the successful completion of another stair. Eller became golden anniversaried on the landing, congratulating Trane on every step they had both survived. golden appled adj. Drunk to the point where every disagreement becomes an invitation to choose sides, usually while standing at an angle. Cierria went golden appled over the correct direction to the toilets and recruited both people on the stairs. golden bambooed adj. Drunk enough to sway in a single jointed column, remaining upright through persistence rather than alignment. Oluwabusola went golden bambooed on the stairs, bending at each joint but never quite falling. golden bandicooted adj. Drunk past the point of walking normally, proceeding in short, low, unexpectedly determined bursts. golden beardgrassed adj. Drunk beyond the point of coordinated speech, with every sentence spreading into loose, warm-coloured threads.