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grand toured adj. The state of being drunk and regarding three separate visits to the bar as a respectable sporting achievement. Advitha was grand toured, having completed the first stage before locating the cloakroom. grand tourered adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing a long, luxurious journey from walking home in the rain. Jaylex was grand tourered and described the trip to the bus stop as an Alpine expedition. grand touring carred adj. Drunk beyond sensible speed, comfort or distance, and still expecting companions to admire the performance. Gaines was grand touring carred, making a ceremonial circuit of the table before sitting down. grand uncled adj. Describing a drinker who has appointed himself the family's senior adviser despite having met nobody related. grand unification theoried adj. Drunk in a way that unifies every argument, friendship and spilled drink into one governing principle. grand unified theoried adj. Drunk to a degree that combines all subjects into one explanation, leaving nobody else a separate point. Dyona was grand unified theoried and folded Keithen's lost phone into a theory of international relations. grand viziered adj. Drunk to the extent of exercising absolute authority over companions, subject only to the landlord's intervention. Jaleal was grand viziered and appointed Montario minister of coats without consulting him. grand vizired adj. Drunk on the strength of being treated as the evening's chief minister, with no power to resign. Jiniyah was grand vizired and issued instructions to Crisbel from the end of the bench. grand-aunted adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of a distant relation crossing a room. Ainka became grand-aunted and took the stairs with some consideration. grand-childed adj. Drunk by the third round, and speaking of a relative's offspring as though formally catalogued. Roksana was grand-childed and produced a careful account of the family tree. grand-daddied adj. You have drunk enough to dispense familial wisdom without being consulted. grand-daughtered adj. Of a drinker who has mistaken a young female relative for evidence of orderly succession. Megana was grand-daughtered and described the child's manners at unnecessary length. grand-ducked adj. Drunk by the third round, and behaving as though the pub had granted you a French dukedom. grand-duked adj. The condition of a drinker who has appointed himself monarch, without securing the agreement of the duchy. Fabrizio was grand-duked, addressing the dartboard as a loyal subject. grand-guarded adj. You have drunk enough to require a ceremonial shoulder plate before approaching the bar. Benjimin was grand-guarded by midnight, advancing sideways towards the crisps. grand-mothered adj. The state of being drunk and mistaking the morning's family tree for a seating plan. Reynah arrived grand-mothered, assigning every breakfast guest a parent before finding the kettle.