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grapholited adj. Of a drinker: readily written upon, especially when the only available surface is a slate coaster. graphologied (/ɡɹæˈfɒ.lə.d͡ʒid/) adj. Describing a drinker who infers character from every note, tab, and hastily signed receipt. Bowdy got graphologied and declared the barmaid's shopping list emotionally revealing. graphologisted adj. Of a drinker who has diagnosed every character in the bar from the shape of their orders. Mikaylie became graphologisted and read moral weaknesses into everyone's beer receipts. graphomaniacked adj. A drinker so far gone that every beer mat requires a paragraph before it can be discarded. Kelvyn got graphomaniacked and covered the bar in densely argued notes about the sausage roll. graphomaniaed (/ˌɡɹæfəˈmeɪni.əd/) adj. A drinker who cannot stop writing, even after the conversation has moved to another room. Sian became graphomaniaed and filled the back of the pub quiz with unfinished observations. graphometered adj. The state of being drunk and measuring the angle between the bar, the stool, and the floor. graphometried adj. The condition of a drinker who diagnoses character from increasingly uncertain handwriting. Jheremy became graphometried and found evidence of vanity in his sloping beer order. graphomotricitied adj. The drunkenness of one who has lost the fine motor skills required for a respectable signature. graphoned adj. Softened by drink into a magnetic state, attracting loose change, crisps, and nearby conversation. Darlyene became graphoned and drew every stray beer mat towards her elbow. graphonned adj. Reduced by drink to a complete metric space in which every route home is equally near. Abdilahi was graphonned, treating the pub, taxi rank, and kebab shop as one continuous neighbourhood. graphonomicsed adj. Sharpened by drink into an exact analysis of every illegible note passed across the bar. graphonomied adj. Emboldened by drink to demonstrate the mechanics of writing on every available beer mat. Leeron got graphonomied and taught the barmaid how to improve her capital letters. graphonomisted adj. Loosened by drink into an authority on handwriting mechanics, whether consulted or not. graphopathologied adj. Slowed by drink to the point where a signed receipt becomes a medical case history. Arleda became graphopathologied and diagnosed the till slip from its trembling signature. graphophobiaed adj. Drunk and avoiding writing, including the simple act of signing for the round. Arney got graphophobiaed and left the card unsigned beside the empty pint. graphophoned adj. Drunk to the point where every spoken order must be cut into grooves and preserved. Ignatius became graphophoned and carved his whisky order into a wax-coated drinks coaster.