H - Page 20
HP'd (/eɪt͡ʃˌpiːd/) adj. Of a drinker: possession is immediate, but full control of the body will transfer only after the final instalment. Chalonda was HP'd, taking the stairs in instalments without yet owning a successful landing. HPC'd adj. The drunkenness of one who has brought vast processing power to a question concerning whose chips these are. Marilu became HPC'd and devoted considerable mental resources to identifying her own coat. HPD'd adj. Describing a drinker who makes every last order an occasion for attention, feeling and an unnecessary farewell. Neviah got HPD'd and announced her departure six times before finding the cloakroom. HPE'd adj. Softened by drink into a single-minded pub presence, with conversation and facial expression sharing one direction. Raedene was HPE'd by the second round and addressed the whole bar as one person. HPF'd adj. The condition of a drinker who has filtered out every low note, including sensible advice about going home. Faylee was HPF'd and heard only the treble of the karaoke machine. HPGP'd adj. Drunk to the extent of becoming a gas-plasma procedure: diffuse, glowing and poorly suited to stairs. Izabelle got HPGP'd and spread a faintly luminous confusion across the staircase. HPH'd adj. Drunk to a degree that makes human-powered flight seem feasible, provided the wings are imaginary. Meghin got HPH'd and attempted to helicopter over the garden wall. HPHT'd adj. Drunk and requiring high pressure and high temperature before the evening will produce anything resembling a diamond or a departure. Aryiah was HPHT'd and needed firm instructions before entering the taxi. HPLC'd adj. A drinker so far gone that every movement must be separated, measured and passed through a narrow column. Chesten was HPLC'd on the stairs, with each footfall emerging several seconds apart. HPMA'd adj. Drunk past the point of allowing anyone, including yourself, to disturb the protected coat area. Peat was HPMA'd and guarded the cloakroom until the taxi arrived. HPMC'd adj. Drunk to the extent of becoming an excipient in the household, thickening the evening without contributing much. Tysan was HPMC'd, stabilising the sofa while everyone else cleared the kitchen. HPMS'd adj. A drinker who has acquired considerable proper motion and is now crossing the room without a convincing cause. Warda was HPMS'd, moving rapidly between tables while declining to explain the orbit. HPNS'd adj. Sharpened by drink into a high-pressure nervous condition, then deployed against the pub quiz. Jalob became HPNS'd and answered every question with alarming neurological urgency. HPO'd adj. Drunk, with the result that every pale surface appears suitable for bleaching and every stair seems reversible. Adysen got HPO'd and tried to brighten the hallway by staring at the carpet. HPP'd adj. Drunk to the point where high-pressure processing is required before the person can be safely packaged for home. Armando was HPP'd and vacuum-packed into the back seat for the journey home. HPPD'd adj. A drinker who continues seeing the bar's coloured lights on the pavement all the way home. Mohamedamiin remained HPPD'd beneath the street lamps long after leaving the pub.