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hand guarded adj. Too drunk to expose the fingers to ordinary conversation without arranging a protective barrier first. Bolling was hand guarded at the supper table, shielding his fingers behind the menu. hand guided adj. Reduced by drink to navigating chiefly by the hand, with the wall serving as a reliable director. Phuongvy was hand guided down the staircase, following the banister with quiet faith. hand hearted adj. Softened by drink into forming small hearts with the fingers for people who have not requested them. Almeater was hand hearted, making finger hearts at the stair rail. hand hoed adj. Sharpened by drink into scraping at the ground with one hand, as if the floor required cultivation. Aryon was hand hoed, raking the carpet before attempting the stairs. hand in the cookie jarred adj. Emboldened by drink to reach into anything available, particularly when removal would be difficult to explain. Bannon was hand in the cookie jarred, caught retrieving crisps from a handbag. hand jived adj. Slowed by drink to executing intricate hand movements several beats after the music has stopped. Aharon was hand jived, clapping patiently while everyone else negotiated the stairs. hand jobbed adj. Drunk and attempting manual intimacy with the confidence and coordination of a person assembling flat-pack furniture. Inderjit was hand jobbed and required careful redirection away from the coat room. hand knitted adj. Drunk past the point of considering whether a garment was made by hand or otherwise. Razeen was hand knitted and inspected the jumper for evidence of personal effort. hand lamped adj. Describing a drinker who carries a small light but cannot persuade the path to remain still. Sinya went hand lamped down the corridor, illuminating several walls but not the steps. hand lanced adj. The state of being drunk and pursuing breakfast with the focused, spearlike purpose of a small whaling expedition. Naleigh was hand lanced, spearing mushrooms one at a time with the end of a fork. hand languaged adj. Drunk past the point of speech, communicating in broad signs whose interpretation remains charitable. Doro was hand languaged, directing everyone upstairs with increasingly theatrical fingers. hand logged adj. Drunk beyond verbal navigation, using the arm as a measuring instrument and the banister as data. Emare was hand logged, testing each stair with an outstretched palm. hand lotioned adj. Drunk in a way that leaves the hands smooth, slippery, and poorly suited to stairs or glassware. Bwana was hand lotioned and lost the banister twice before reaching the landing. hand mixered adj. Drunk, with the result that the hands rotate continuously, as though combining ingredients no bowl contains. Binca was hand mixered, stirring the air while Herlinda located the stairs. hand modelled adj. Drunk to a degree that the hands pose beautifully while the rest of the person negotiates gravity. Rosse was hand modelled, displaying immaculate fingers from an otherwise uncertain staircase. hand modellinged adj. Drunk to the extent of professionally presenting the hands while coordination elsewhere has become provisional. Radamel was hand modellinged, holding each finger conspicuously still on the stairs.