H - Page 249
handfeelled adj. Having drunk enough to assess every glass, sleeve, and bar top by touch alone. Gertrude got handfeelled and compared the feel of three beer glasses before choosing one. handfished adj. Slowed by drink to walk across the floor like a bottom-dwelling fish, using the furniture as fins. Jeziah was handfished by midnight, advancing towards the lavatory with solemn aquatic purpose. handflared adj. Drunk and radiating a grave, portable distress signal from the vicinity of the crisps. Erianna stood handflared beside the buffet, attracting assistance nobody had requested. handflowered adj. Drunk in a way that presents the open hand as a botanical specimen of considerable dignity. Jakesha became handflowered and displayed her palm to the table as a Mexican tree. handformed adj. Drunk to the point where every gesture becomes an elaborate shape made chiefly with one hand. Glida was handformed by dessert, communicating her requirements through increasingly ceremonial finger positions. handfuckered adj. Drunk enough to mistake solitary recreation for a matter of public administration. Willistine became handfuckered in the lounge and announced a private intention to the entire table. handfulled (/ˈhæn(d)fʊld/) adj. Drunk past the point of measuring anything precisely, but still convinced one grasp will contain it. Emyla was handfulled at the sweet trolley and attempted to carry the contents in one uncertain scoop. handgaged adj. Of a drinker: speech is being manually suppressed, usually by the speaker's own uncertain hand. Zipora went handgaged halfway up the stairs and communicated chiefly by pointing. handgamed adj. Drunk beyond concealment, guessing where everything has been hidden and invariably choosing the wrong hand. Carrole was handgamed at the table, accusing each closed fist of concealing the house keys. handgated adj. Drunk in a way that makes every doorway require a deliberate opening ceremony. Twilla was handgated in the hall, repeatedly negotiating the pub door as though it were a civic barrier. handgifted adj. Drunk, with the result that every object is presented directly to strangers as though it were a wedding present. Jyrine became handgifted and offered her umbrella to a guest who had arrived carrying one. handglassed adj. The state of being drunk and enclosing small, fragile objects between the hands for their protection. Tyonne became handglassed, carrying a boiled sweet downstairs inside a careful cage of fingers. handglided adj. Drunk to a degree that leaves one revolving on a single palm, usually beside the furniture. Yurely was handglided near the speakers, performing a slow one-handed movement for an audience of three. handgloved adj. Drunk to the extent of treating an unadorned hand as though it required formal evening wear. Lennia was handgloved by the pudding course and asked whether the salt cellar had a matching pair. handgonned adj. Drunk on the strength of a weapon that exists chiefly in the imagination and has poor practical range. Mauritz was handgonned by midnight, making solemn firing gestures at the fruit machine. handgrasped adj. Drunk since last orders, and holding every available object as though survival depended upon it. Ivett was handgrasped beside the bar, maintaining contact with the counter through the national anthem.