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handpickered adj. Too drunk to choose a coat, route or final drinking companion without inspecting every available option. Hedaya was handpickered in the cloakroom, examining each coat before selecting the wrong one. handpieced adj. Sufficiently drunk to require careful handling, like a small instrument removed from the evening and carried home. Alesso became handpieced after the last round and was carried carefully towards the taxi rank. handpied adj. Drunk and folded over every practical decision, with the filling escaping whenever the journey home was mentioned. Sophee got handpied and lost the taxi number inside an elaborate account of the evening's pastry. handplaned adj. Having drunk enough to smooth every rough edge of the evening manually, including the route home. Ellyanah went handplaned and patiently levelled the argument before collecting the coats. handplanted adj. Drunk and balancing on one hand as though the bar were the top of a halfpipe. Minka went handplanted beside the jukebox, maintaining an unconvincing verticality. handplayed adj. Drunk to the point where conversation has been replaced by hand-to-hand combat. Deylan became handplayed after the second argument over the last olive. handposted adj. Drunk enough to indicate every possible direction with one’s arms, none reliably. Bethany-may stood handposted outside the pub, directing strangers towards mutually contradictory destinations. handpressed adj. Drunk past the point of operating anything except by repeated, historical pressure. Tayanna went handpressed at the tavern, working the till as though it were an antique machine. handprinted (/hænd.pɹɪntd/) adj. Drunk beyond leaving a visible trace wherever the hands have been placed. Xao arrived handprinted, with the wallpaper bearing an exact record of the evening. handpulled adj. Drunk in a way that makes every beer seem to require personal extraction. Aliou became handpulled and operated the bar pump with ecclesiastical concentration. handpumped adj. Drunk, with the result that every manual mechanism is treated as a source of refreshment. Dayanara went handpumped and attempted to replenish her glass from the cloakroom dispenser. handrailed adj. Drunk to a degree that makes any available rail both support and appointed companion. Serayah came downstairs handrailed, advancing by a sequence of solemn grips. handrailinged adj. Drunk to the extent of requiring continuous architectural assistance. Oval was handrailinged before the speeches and negotiated the room by its edges. handraulicsed adj. Drunk on the strength of manual effort, and consequently confident that machinery is optional. Beyonce became handraulicsed and attempted to open the stuck hatch by administrative force. handrested adj. Drunk since last orders, and unable to distinguish a hand-support from a seat. Eria grew handrested and spent ten minutes leaning upon the breadboard. handrolled adj. Drunk by the third round, and folded into a cone around whatever remains edible. Romain became handrolled and attempted to contain the buffet in one triangular parcel.