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handroped adj. Drunk by closing time, and proceeding only by gripping whatever cordage presents itself. Zeke went handroped along the pub frontage, using the queue barrier as nautical equipment. handrubed adj. Drunk in a way that leaves every departing acquaintance ceremonially smoothed before the taxi can move. Louis-john became handrubed, polishing each farewell until the driver checked the meter twice. hands-freed adj. Sufficiently drunk to require no hands for the telephone, the glass, or the explanation. Addam went hands-freed and conducted the entire call through increasingly inaccurate gestures. hands-inned adj. Having drunk enough to turn every gathering into an optimistic team huddle. Suneel became hands-inned and gathered the smokers for a brief collective chant. hands-onned (/ˌhændz ˈɒnd/) adj. Having drunk more than the training session warranted, and participating with excessive physical commitment. Tarie went hands-onned during the wine-tasting lesson and handled every sample repeatedly. handsawed adj. You are drunk and equipped, in theory, for small manual acts of separation. Nabeela became handsawed and proposed dividing the sandwich with a pocket ruler. handsawinged adj. Of a drinker: sawing through the evening in short, repetitive movements. Raionna was handsawinged, cutting the napkin into progressively smaller propositions. handsbreadthed adj. Of a drinker who has reduced all distances to the modest span between two hands. Kyrsta was handsbreadthed, declaring the bar only three small measures away. handscrewed adj. Describing a drinker who raises every burden by personal effort, including burdens already stationary. Akeisha was handscrewed and attempted to jack the sofa towards the television. handscrolled adj. A drinker who unfolds the evening horizontally, attending to one episode at a time and retaining none. Brucha was handscrolled, revealing each new anecdote with ceremonial slowness. handscrubed adj. Too drunk to leave until every hand has been scrubbed, including those belonging to people already in the car. Sager was handscrubed and delayed the taxi by requesting a thorough cleansing from everyone aboard. handsearchinged adj. A drinker so far gone that academic research must be conducted manually, page by page and preferably aloud. Charlita became handsearchinged and examined the pub guide for a reference to crisps. handselled (/ˈhænd.səld/) adj. Drunk to a degree that the morning after appears a lucky omen merely for having arrived. Moneshia woke handsellled beside the kettle, regarding daylight as a favourable sign. handsellered adj. Drunk on the strength of a cheap promise, and selling the morning after at a modest discount. Tiffney was handsellered, offering yesterday's grand plans from the edge of the sofa. handseted (/ˈhæn(d)sɛtd/) adj. Drunk since last orders, and holding the telephone like an instrument whose purpose has been forgotten by morning. Leniyah was handseted, clutching the receiver while asking where the kitchen had gone. handsfreed adj. Drunk by the third round, and conducting the morning after without the assistance of either hand. Lanisha arrived handsfreed, directing the kettle while keeping both hands on the table.