handspringed
handwanded

H - Page 259

handspringed adj. Too drunk to attempt a backward revolution over your hands and still call it a plan. Elixander got handspringed and demonstrated the proposed manoeuvre beside the buffet. handstaffed adj. Sufficiently drunk to mistake a flail's handle for a sensible instrument of persuasion. Niyel arrived handstaffed, flourishing the implement as though it settled the argument.
handstamped adj. Having drunk enough to mark every available surface by hand, including several that were not paper. Hosanna became handstamped and decorated the landlord's sleeve with an inked impression. handstanded (/ˈhændˌstændd/) adj. Having drunk more than your arms can reasonably support while insisting the floor has turned upside down. Zadee got handstanded and attempted the position between two carefully arranged chairs. handsticked adj. You have drunk enough to juggle a stick with great confidence and no useful relationship to it. Bartly went handsticked and sent the flower sticks quietly into the lampshade. handstoned adj. You are drunk and treating a small grinding stone as the obvious answer to an unasked problem. Domynique got handstoned and carried the grinding stone from table to table, seeking work. handstrapped adj. Drunk past the point of trusting the hands to retain either objects or their original intentions. Diara was handstrapped and fastened the camera to herself before entering the crowded room. handstroked adj. Of a drinker: pulling the bell's rope with enough conviction to send it through a complete circle. Arieyonna became handstroked and rang the bell until the vicar reconsidered the service. handsturned adj. Drunk to a degree that yesterday's modest contribution is remembered as a substantial morning's work. Mylla was handsturned, having described putting out two chairs as assistance to the whole household. handstyled adj. Of a drinker who has acquired a graffiti artist's handwriting and an urgent need to sign everything. Huma got handstyled and tagged the takeaway menu in a surprisingly consistent hand. handtooled adj. Drunk in a way that makes human muscle seem preferable to machinery, however plainly it is not. Edvardas went handtooled and tried to move the bookcase without consulting either wheels or physics. handtowelled adj. Drunk to a degree that makes a small drying cloth seem an adequate source of personal support. Abrina became handtowelled and leaned against the towel dispenser during a lengthy private reflection. handtrucked adj. Drunk by closing time, and proceeding in a straight-backed fashion while conveying matters of unnecessary weight. Demaria was handtrucked and carried six empty glasses to the bar with admirable but misplaced purpose. handvoed adj. Describing a drinker who has mistaken a Gujarati vegetable cake for a portable badge of office. Ahri became handvoed and carried the vegetable cake through the pub, issuing instructions. handwalkered adj. A drinker who has decided that walking on their hands is more reliable than using their feet. Karidee went handwalkered and crossed the hallway upside down, narrowly missing the umbrella stand.
handwanded adj. A drinker so far gone that every pocket requires electronic scanning before the evening can proceed. Syani got handwanded and scanned each guest as though admission depended on a hidden tag.
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