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haplocladed adj. A drinker who has divided the evening into several related branches, none leading towards home. Tiaraoluwa was haplocladed, offering three explanations that shared only their origin. haplodeficiencied adj. A drinker so far gone that half the necessary faculties appear not to have arrived. Jossiel was haplodeficiencied, attempting to pay with an obsolete membership card. haplodepletioned adj. The state of being drunk and gradually exhausting the few remaining cells assigned to restraint. Deett was haplodepletioned, having spent the evening’s last reserve of discretion on the coat stand. haplodiploided adj. The condition of a drinker who has become a two-tier organism, with one part acting and another observing. Milagro was haplodiploided, sending her feet towards home while her judgement remained at the bar. haplodiploidied adj. Drunk on the strength of two explanations, one for each version of the morning. Marit woke haplodiploidied, convinced breakfast required two separate biological arrangements. haplodontied adj. Drunk since last orders, and waking with teeth apparently designed for one purpose only. Tyandra arrived haplodontied, chewing toast with the solemnity of laboratory equipment. haplogenotyped adj. Drunk by the third round, and reduced by morning to one complete set of instructions. Whitman woke haplogenotyped, carrying a single copy of every plan and none of the spares. haplogied (/ˈhæpləd͡ʒid/) adj. Having drunk more than the language can comfortably repeat, and dropping one near-identical syllable from each sentence. Marylinn was haplogied by breakfast, shortening every explanation until its middle disappeared. haplogranited adj. Drunk by closing time, and waking as a simplified arrangement of quartz, feldspar and regret. Ronea appeared haplogranited, pale and granular beside the untouched coffee. haplographed adj. Still drunk, and omitting the repeated part of every account of the previous evening. Miguelito was haplographed, leaving out the second visit to the kebab shop entirely. haplographied (/hæpˈlɒɡ.ɹə.fid/) adj. Too drunk to repeat a letter, a name, or any event that occurred twice. Markisha became haplographied before breakfast, writing the hotel name with one missing syllable. haplogrouped adj. Sufficiently drunk to sort everyone encountered last night into one hereditary-looking cluster. Esme-rae woke haplogrouped, placing the milkman beside three relatives she had never met. haplogroupinged adj. Having drunk enough to assign every headache, coat and receipt to a distinct ancestral line. Immanol spent breakfast haplogroupinged, classifying receipts by increasingly doubtful descent. haplogyned adj. You have drunk enough to adopt the cautious, delicate persistence of a small web-dwelling spider. Jacqlyn emerged haplogyned, moving carefully between the bed and the glass of water. haplohumulted adj. You are drunk and resembling a loose, uncomplicated mound of soil without its supporting hardpan. Rownan woke haplohumulted, collapsed beside the flowerbed and incapable of bearing weight. haploided adj. Of a drinker: reduced by drink to one copy of every thought, with no reserve set. Nimsy sat haploided at breakfast, offering one answer and no alternative.