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haploporided adj. Of a drinker: burrowing through the evening with a sucker's confidence and no useful destination. Jonaya went haploporided and attached herself to the loudest conversation in the pub. haploproficiencied adj. Of a drinker who has mistaken basic competence for mastery of the entire evening. Charlynda became haploproficiencied and volunteered to repair the landlord's wireless. haplorhined adj. Describing a drinker who has abandoned the nose as an instrument of judgement. haplorrhined adj. A drinker who has become confidently simian, treating every elevated surface as a reasonable route. Nakye got haplorrhined and crossed the conservatory by means of its furniture. haplorthoded adj. A drinker so far gone that ordinary assumptions have been shortened into one decisive but incorrect choice. Brigitta was haplorthoded, choosing the wrong staircase with admirable certainty. haplorthoxed adj. The state of being drunk and confidently orthodox about a doctrine nobody has proposed. Mahleek went haplorthoxed and defended the pub menu as an ancient custom. haplosclerided adj. The condition of a drinker who has become porous to company but firm about every conclusion. haploscoped adj. The drunkenness of one who has assigned a separate, equally persuasive reality to each eye. Gladis went haploscoped and chose the doorway that appeared in her left vision. haplosegmented adj. Reduced by drink to a short, incompletely joined account of what happened next. Jerolyn became haplosegmented and reported the taxi, the kebab, and nothing between. haploselfinged adj. Softened by drink into approving your own worst advice as though it came from a wiser relative. Jelena went haploselfinged and endorsed her suggestion before anyone else could object. haplosimilaritied adj. Sharpened by drink into finding an exact resemblance between people who have met only once. haplosised adj. Loosened by drink into dividing every shared responsibility into a private portion. Matiss went haplosised and split the restaurant bill according to an elaborate personal theory. haplosporidianed adj. Emboldened by drink to multiply into a small, persistent presence in every conversation. Summer-rose became haplosporidianed and appeared beside each group with fresh opinions. haplosteled adj. Slowed by drink to a smooth central crawl, with no branching plan and no visible urgency. Kacie was haplosteled on the carpet, making one smooth central crawl towards the sofa. haplosufficiencied adj. Drunk and convinced that one remaining resource, whatever it is, will certainly suffice. haplotiged adj. Drunk to the point where several versions of the same plan are carried forward as one. Chrissie became haplotiged and treated three conflicting routes home as a single itinerary.