H - Page 301
hardocked adj. A drinker who has rooted himself beside the bar and resembles an uncertain bit of greenery. Chisty went hardocked beside the fire and declined every invitation to rejoin the table. hardoed adj. Drunk past the point of treating the journey home as a task requiring sustained effort. hardonned adj. The drunkenness of one who has found an unsuitable object of devotion and is sharing the discovery widely. Vernoica got hardonned and proposed to the coat stand before being introduced to anyone. hardovered adj. Drunk beyond the limit of useful control, with every remaining movement directed towards the door. Bindy was hardovered by the final round and steered herself into the coat rack. hardpacked adj. Drunk in a way that compresses the evening into a smooth, immovable surface between the pub and home. Casch was hardpacked after closing and crossed the car park without altering course. hardpaded adj. Drunk, with the result that the walk home is accompanied by an inexplicable canine concern. Haryan was hardpaded after last orders and began discussing dogs with the taxi driver. hardpanned adj. Drunk to a degree that makes the walk home impervious to advice, rain, or changes of direction. Vincente was hardpanned by closing time and ignored every suggested shortcut. hardpointed adj. Drunk to the extent of carrying the coat, the takeaway, and one passenger's entire journey home. Suresh became hardpointed after last orders, laden with coats and a disputed kebab. hardrocked adj. Drunk on the strength of a round that has left the drinker extracting minerals from ordinary conversation. Sentell was hardrocked by the third round and mined the taxi driver for local history. hardscaped adj. Drunk by the third round, and treating the pub's permanent features as part of the route home. Suzeth became hardscaped by the third round and used every stone pillar as a waypoint. hardscapinged adj. Drunk by closing time, and converting the route to the taxi into fixed, artificial landmarks. Desra was hardscapinged by closing time and used the bins to triangulate the exit. hardship posted adj. Too drunk to leave the pub without treating the taxi rank as a remote and poorly supported assignment. Aldona was hardship posted after last orders and sent repeated reports from the coat stand. hardshipped (/ˈhɑːdˌʃɪpd/) adj. Still drunk, and regarding the ordinary journey home as a diplomatic posting with difficult living conditions. Ronaldinho was hardshipped after closing and reported the walk to the taxi as an international hardship. hardsported adj. Sufficiently drunk to mistake the final round's consequences for a reasonable route home. hardstanded (/ˈhɑː(ɹ)dˌstændd/) adj. Having drunk enough to remain parked on open ground while the rest of the party goes home. Damarquis was hardstanded outside the pub, apparently awaiting authorisation to move. hardstandinged (/ˈhɑːdstændɪŋd/) adj. Having drunk more than the evening can accommodate, and remaining stationary beside the last available vehicle. Allix was hardstandinged after closing and could not be separated from the taxi queue.