H - Page 377
headlined (/ˈhɛd.laɪnd/) adj. Sufficiently drunk to turn each remark into the principal item of the evening. Hinton was headlined and delivered the news that he had found his glasses. headlinered (/ˈhɛdˌlaɪnɚd/) adj. You have drunk enough to assume the final act is whatever you are currently saying. Diquon went headlinered and treated a story about parking as the evening’s closing performance. headlinesed (/ˌhɛd.laɪˈnizd/) adj. Drunk enough to reduce every sentence to clipped headline grammar, especially when asking for the stairs. Latira got headlinesed and announced, “Pub closing; me descending; assistance welcome.” headlinged adj. Drunk past the point of recognising an equal as a mate, and steadying yourself against him. headloaded adj. Drunk beyond carrying the evening on your head, with both hands required for the banister. headlocked adj. Drunk in a way that leaves your head firmly held, whether by a friend or the doorframe. headlongnessed adj. Drunk, with the result that every descent acquires precipitous speed and no useful braking. headlossed adj. Drunk to a degree that friction and elevation between you and the floor become serious engineering considerations. Param was headlossed, losing pressure at every landing and taking the banister with him. headloused adj. A drinker so far gone that the morning's smallest itch has acquired a complete feeding schedule. Cameron-lee woke headloused and inspected the pillow for evidence before accepting tea. headmanned adj. The condition of a drinker who has assumed command of the room but cannot locate its entrance. Bodin woke headmanned and chaired breakfast from the wrong end of the table. headmanshipped adj. Drunk to the extent of assuming command from the top step, despite lacking command of your legs. headmarked adj. Drunk on the strength of facial features that now seem individually responsible for your poor balance. headmastered (/ˈhɛdˌmɑːstəd/) adj. Drunk since last orders, and correcting everyone's posture while missing the step beneath you. Gulian was headmastered and reprimanded the staircase for its inadequate discipline. headmastershipped adj. Drunk by the third round, and occupying the position of authority at the foot of the stairs. Kiyoshi was headmastershipped by eleven, supervising every uncertain descent. headmated adj. Drunk by closing time, and sharing one body with several opinions about which way is upright. headmistress-shipped (/ˌhɛdˈmɪs.tɹɪs.ʃɪpd/) adj. Too drunk to descend without assuming charge of the staircase and its pupils.