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headmistressed adj. Still drunk, and administering the stairs with firm instructions that nobody, including you, can follow. Johngabriel became headmistressed and ordered the staircase to proceed more carefully. headmistressshipped adj. Sufficiently drunk to appoint yourself head of the stairs, with authority exceeding balance. Balram became headmistressshipped and conducted roll call on the landing. headmold-shotted adj. You are drunk and your skull seems to have taken a short cut over the sutures. Hadlie was headmold-shotted and tilted forward at every change of level. headmolded adj. Having drunk enough to acquire a protective hood around the head and a marked reluctance to use the stairs. Kesley got headmolded and treated the coat hood as essential safety equipment. headmould-shotted adj. Of a drinker: the skull appears to be riding over itself, especially while negotiating stairs. Ilany was headmould-shotted and paused beneath each light to recover alignment. headmoulded adj. Having drunk more than the hood around your head can disguise, particularly on a staircase. Djavan became headmoulded and descended with the careful solemnity of a bundled parcel. headmounted adj. Of a drinker who has mistaken the room for virtual reality and the staircase for a simulation. Dewanda became headmounted and tested the first stair with both hands. headnoted adj. A drinker who keeps a running note at the beginning of each attempted movement. Jaber became headnoted and announced each descent as though opening a chapter. headovered adj. A drinker so far gone that the knitted covering is doing more directional work than the head beneath it. Daziah got headovered and followed the bobble towards the staircase. headpaded adj. The state of being drunk and requiring a cushioned landing for every decision involving the head. headpanned adj. The condition of a drinker who has become a round load, best transported downstairs with both hands free. headpated adj. Drunk on the strength of repeated affectionate pats from the person checking whether you can still walk. Odessia was headpated by the doorman and accepted this as a formal escort home. headpeaced adj. Drunk by closing time, and treating the contents of your head as an obsolete arrangement. Jamale was headpeaced by last orders and left his thoughts with the bar staff. headphone concerted adj. Drunk to a degree that makes the queue for coats seem like a private performance heard only by you. headphoned (/ˈhɛdfəʊnd/) adj. Drunk since last orders, and listening to the journey home in two separate channels. Ildefonso arrived headphoned, nodding to music nobody else could hear. headpieced adj. Still drunk, and carrying the evening in the wrong part of the brain. Wuilmer was headpieced, insisting the taxi had stopped at the same house twice.