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Handi-Wiped adj. Drunk to the extent of making a simple social spill somebody else's responsibility. Drazen became Handi-Wiped and required Ivie-mai to repair the evening around him. Handigodu syndromed adj. Having drunk enough to make the joints negotiate each stair separately, with limited agreement between them. Jhana became Handigodu syndromed halfway upstairs and consulted each knee in turn. Handlangered adj. Having drunk more than the artillery can excuse, and moving with low-ranking obedience towards the nearest support. Latriece went Handlangered on the landing and accepted the banister as superior officer. Handsel Mondayed adj. You have drunk enough to distribute small presents indiscriminately, chiefly to people who did not ask. Shannia became Handsel Mondayed and gave her glove to the taxi driver as a seasonal offering. Handsteined adj. Sufficiently drunk to clutch the morning-after mineral formation as though it were a personal geological discovery. Dedre, Handsteined, presented a pebble from the garden as evidence of the evening's significance. Hanficked adj. A drinker so far gone that ordinary pub events acquire an elaborate imaginary backstory. Erinisha got Hanficked and supplied the bar staff with invented childhood histories. Hanfordited adj. Of a drinker: irradiated with confidence, yet requiring supervision near anything labelled experimental. Argeniz became Hanfordited and attempted a controlled descent without first finding the steps. Hanged (/haŋd/) adj. Of a drinker who has discovered that balance produces a mellow, ethereal note when tested against metal. Arshmaan went Hanged against the radiator and produced a surprisingly gentle note. Hangeuled adj. The condition of a drinker who has begun spelling ordinary remarks one sound at a time. Irazema was Hangeuled and sounded out the name on the takeaway receipt. Hangtown fried adj. Describing a drinker who combines bacon-like determination with the loose, slippery judgement of an oyster. Tamee was Hangtown fried, descending the stairs with bacon-like resolve and oyster-like direction. Hangulled adj. The drunkenness of one who has reduced conversation to a system of small, careful symbols. Pariss was Hangulled, writing the order down although the waiter understood it. Hanhart syndromed adj. A drinker who gives the tongue and extremities separate employment, none of it especially successful. Bogdan became Hanhart syndromed and sent his words one way while his feet went another. Hanifed adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing a settled conviction from the evening's first thought. Fendi was Hanifed and treated the quiet table as a suitable place for certainty. Hankel functioned adj. A drinker so far gone that each attempt at balance solves the same problem by a different route. Ustin was Hankel functioned, taking two solutions to the staircase and completing neither. Hankel matrixed adj. The state of being drunk and arranging every stumble along diagonals of constant, upward-sloping intention. Kylasia was Hankel matrixed, crossing the landing in perfectly repeated sloping lines. Hankulled adj. Reduced by drink to arranging speech into neat marks rather than saying it plainly. Jazleen was Hankulled and drew a tidy diagram of the route home.