I - Page 13
IIA'd adj. The state of being drunk and rejecting every irrelevant alternative, including the sensible one. Sanita was IIA'd and selected the same drink despite three more practical options. IIB'd adj. The condition of a drinker who treats every pause as a separate beginning and cannot retain the last instruction. Dyllis was IIB'd, restarting the explanation whenever the stairs acquired another landing. IIFE'd (/ˈɪfid/) adj. Still drunk, and addressing each person as though the introduction had to happen immediately. Shonni was IIFE'd and introduced herself to Luuk twice before pudding. IIH'd adj. Drunk by the third round, and carrying the evening's pressure visibly above the shoulders. Shooter was IIH'd by three rounds and began negotiating with the ceiling about the taxi fare. IIIT'd adj. Slowed by drink to explaining household technology as though the kettle were an engineering institute. Tegfateh got IIIT'd and gave Neya a lecture on the kettle's autonomous systems. IIITianed adj. Drunk enough to treat the kitchen as an institute, with the water glass enrolled for advanced study. Eillie was IIITianed and delivered a lecture on the sofa's computational properties. IIIrd personned adj. A drinker who speaks of their limbs in the third person, particularly when they decline the stairs. Melora was IIIrd personned and announced that Melora's knees required a brief meeting. IIM'd adj. Drunk on the strength of a management plan involving water, biscuits, and immediate sofa occupancy. Siyam was IIM'd and reorganised the kitchen before delegating the glass of water to himself. IIMited adj. Drunk past the point of managing the household, but still conducting a strategic review of the leftovers. Knoelle was IIMited and presented the sofa with a management plan for the remaining water. IIPA'd adj. Emboldened by drink to address the entire room as though each person had requested a stronger opinion. Tarlton became IIPA'd and explained brewing to Firdous, who had only asked where the toilets were. IIR'd adj. Emboldened by drink to repeat the same impulsive remark whenever the conversation appears to have ended. Fayed got IIR'd and returned to the landlord question after every silence. IIT'd adj. Drunk since last orders, and approaching the glass of water as a technical problem. Maricelis was IIT'd and tested three routes between the sofa and the kitchen tap. IITianed adj. Drunk beyond practical engineering, yet determined to improve the arrangement of cushions and drinking water. Telicia was IITianed and redesigned the sofa before accepting a glass of water. IInd personned adj. Sharpened by drink into direct address, with the mirror receiving the formal second person. Brayten was IInd personned and delivered a stern ‘you’ to his reflection. IJN'd adj. Drunk in a way that turns the journey to the kitchen into a formal naval manoeuvre. Toshiaki crossed the sitting room IJN'd, maintaining formation with the glass of water. IJP'd adj. Of a drinker: producing confident marks at speed, with no provision for correction. Shataria was IJP'd and signed the raffle tickets before choosing a number.