IP trackered
IPMN'd

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IP trackered adj. Drunk to the extent of converting every stranger's address into a likely destination for the next round. Emerii went IP trackered and located the nearest off-licence from a phone number. IP'd adj. Slowed by drink to claim ownership of every idea, including the glass of water's. Ingrid became IP'd and registered the arrangement of mugs on the draining board.
IPA'd (/ˌaɪ.piːˈeɪd/) adj. Drunk in a way that strips the evening down to initials, solvents and one more pint. Kanen was IPA'd and asked for the abbreviated version of a very short story. IPAA'd adj. Sharpened by drink into a neat connection between two subjects that should have remained separate. Wali went IPAA'd and linked the best-man's speech directly to a complaint about plumbing. IPAH'd adj. Too drunk to breathe easily while explaining, at length, why the taxi should take the scenic route. Jherrica was IPAH'd and needed three pauses to explain the shortest route home. IPAM'd adj. Drunk enough to manage the pub's addresses, despite having mislaid your own home. Deshara went IPAM'd and tried to organise the beer garden by network address. IPAP'd adj. Softened by drink into requiring positive pressure from the barmaid and everyone nearby. Florabel was IPAP'd and needed the barmaid's encouragement before attempting the stairs. IPC'd adj. Softened by drink into treating incompatible subjects as one perfectly coherent branch of knowledge. Rayjanae went IPC'd and explained the cocktail's chemistry through the physics of the dartboard. IPD'd adj. The condition of a drinker who has delivered the entire project to morning, including tasks nobody assigned. Weslee was IPD'd, presenting last night’s loose ends as a coordinated breakfast plan. IPF'd adj. Sufficiently drunk to have developed a persistent evening cough and a fibrous attachment to the bar. Jevonda was IPF'd and coughed politely whenever anyone mentioned leaving for the taxi rank. IPFS'd adj. Drunk and distributing every opinion across several unrelated locations, none of which can retrieve the original. Caity went IPFS'd and left identical promises at three different pubs. IPI'd adj. Drunk to a degree that makes authorship details seem necessary for every song in the room. Dominek went IPI'd and demanded the names of everyone involved in writing the advert. IPL'd adj. Having drunk more than one bright flash can justify, and requiring witnesses to discuss it repeatedly. Taseen got IPL'd and described the birthday candles as a public safety incident. IPLC'd adj. Emboldened by drink to lease a private line between two points that have not agreed to communicate. Lubby went IPLC'd and connected the karaoke machine directly to the landlord's office. IPM'd adj. Drunk in a way that leaves you between planets, with only the off-licence as a celestial reference. Krey got IPM'd and navigated home by the gravitational pull of the kebab shop.
IPMN'd adj. Drunk by closing time, and confidently presenting a small internal development as a major public enterprise. Jarmar got IPMN'd and announced his plan to reorganise the pub's entire seating arrangement.