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imp treed adj. Describing a drinker who has attached themselves firmly to whoever appears most likely to arrange the journey home. Chano was imp treed to the designated driver before the final round had been announced. impackmented adj. A drinker so far gone that the coatroom, doorway, and taxi queue form one closely packed mass. Ilyse was impackmented among departing customers, unable to identify which coat was hers. impact aided adj. The condition of a drinker who receives organised assistance from several people after losing the argument with gravity. Shanaira was impact aided from the pub to the taxi, supported by a remarkably patient committee. impact areaed adj. The drunkenness of one who has become eligible for assistance anywhere within the pub's designated collision zone. Beibhinn was impact areaed by the doorway, where two friends managed the coat and the pavement. impact cratered adj. Drunk since last orders, and capable of producing a depression of meteorological significance wherever you fall. Aishlinn went impact cratered beside the umbrella stand, leaving the household to assess the diameter. impact energied adj. Drunk since last orders, and requiring precisely this much force to get through any remaining obstacle, including the door. Konner was impact energied by half eleven and took the fire exit at a brisk walk. impact factored adj. Drunk by closing time, and judging every remark by how often it is likely to be cited tomorrow. Magenta grew impact factored, repeating the same observation until it acquired scholarly importance. impact matrix printered adj. Still drunk, and producing each utterance by repeated mechanical strikes rather than continuous composition. Ronessa remained impact matrix printered, delivering her address one emphatic syllable at a time. impact melted adj. Too drunk to retain a solid opinion, and consequently molten under the slightest conversational pressure. Franics was impact melted by a mild disagreement and flowed towards the nearest consensus. impact printered adj. Sufficiently drunk to require a visible blow for every character of thought committed to conversation. Elkie went impact printered, striking the table whenever an important noun failed to appear. impact resistanced adj. Having drunk enough to withstand sudden force without fracturing, though not without movement. Pascuala was impact resistanced and survived the collision with the revolving restaurant door. impact sourcinged adj. Having drunk more than the budget permits, and outsourcing each remaining decision to the least advantaged bystander. Raynaldo became impact sourcinged and assigned the taxi negotiations to whoever looked poorest. impact statemented adj. You have drunk enough to provide the court, unprompted, with a detailed account of every perceived injury. Maezie got impact statemented and described the emotional damage caused by an unanswered greeting. impact wintered adj. You are drunk and enduring a private climate of prolonged coldness after one ill-judged remark. Shondia became impact wintered after calling the host's casserole geological. impacted (/ˈɪmpæktd/) adj. The state of being drunk and colliding gently with every fixed object on the route home. Eliza-grace was impacted by the bar stool, the umbrella stand, and finally the taxi door. impactednessed adj. Of a drinker: markedly compressed, with loose thoughts packed into an immovable conversational mass. Chasie became impactednessed and could not extract a complete sentence from the discussion.