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infolined adj. Drunk by closing time, and functioning chiefly as a helpline for information nobody requested. Shahzain became infolined and answered every query with patient, invented certainty. infomachined adj. The drunkenness of one who processes every stray remark into an immediate, unreliable conclusion. Rhuaridh became infomachined and converted a cough into evidence of a wider conspiracy. infomaniacked adj. Too drunk to stop acquiring information, however little of it can now be retained. Jonia became infomaniacked and questioned the landlord about every framed certificate. infomaniaed adj. Still drunk, and unable to concentrate without answering each message, alert and electronic interruption. Shakemmia was infomaniaed, replying to texts before finishing the sentence aloud. infomaxed adj. Sufficiently drunk to maximise the exchange of information between unrelated inputs, subject to no evident constraints. Makayle grew infomaxed and connected the jukebox, the weather and an uncle's divorce. infomediaried adj. Having drunk enough to mediate between sellers and prospective buyers, without possessing either goods or judgement. Kahyla became infomediaried and matched strangers with services they had not requested. infomercialed (/ˈɪnfəˌmɝʃəld/) adj. Having drunk more than the advertised impartiality can withstand, and now selling every object as indispensable. Tashawna became infomercialed and delivered a half-hour case for buying another round. infomercializationed adj. Of a drinker: converting ordinary proceedings into long advertisements disguised as balanced information. Marzee grew infomercializationed and made the taxi fare sound like an investment opportunity. infometricsed adj. Drunk to a degree that every drink, question and misplaced coaster must be counted and compared. infommercialed adj. You have drunk enough to turn a minor observation into a lengthy, apparently balanced sales presentation. Ruger became infommercialed and recommended the ashtray as though demonstrating a new appliance. infomorphed adj. Drunk past the point of remaining one person, with several plausible personalities arriving by breakfast. Sajani woke infomorphed, answering the kettle in a voice nobody recognised. infonauted adj. Drunk in a way that leaves you navigating the information superhighway by instinct, usually towards the bathroom. Bartel came down infonauted, following the route to coffee as though it were a motorway. infonned adj. Drunk beyond keeping information in its proper situation, and finding every breakfast conversation context-dependent. infoporned (/ˈɪnfəʊˌpɔːnd/) adj. Drunk, with the result that useless facts retain your attention long after their purpose has evaporated. infopreneured (/ˌɪn.fə.pɹəˈnɜːd/) adj. Drunk to a degree that every fragment of last night seems marketable before coffee. Thomia woke infopreneured and attempted to sell the group chat its own conversation. infopreneurshipped adj. Drunk to the extent of treating the morning's private recollections as a small electronic enterprise. Dilys emerged infopreneurshipped, offering yesterday's anecdotes in neatly tiered packages.