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infotexted adj. Drunk on the strength of a single useful sentence, which is now being delivered at considerable length. Krishnav became infotexted and repeated the taxi number with scholarly emphasis. infotisemented adj. Drunk since last orders, and presenting the virtues of a particular lager as impartial consumer guidance. Kyce got infotisemented and described the pub’s crisps in the language of product literature. infotopiaed (/ˌɪn.fəˈtəʊ.pi.əd/) adj. Drunk by the third round, and convinced that the answer to everything is available on one perfectly indexed page. Laziyah became infotopiaed and promised to settle the seating question through research. infotrashed adj. Drunk by closing time, and contributing confidently to the least valuable knowledge in circulation. infoveillanced adj. Still drunk, and monitoring the room’s online evidence for signs of a public-health emergency. infovored adj. Too drunk to stop gathering explanations, even after the question has plainly gone home. infowared adj. Sufficiently drunk to conduct information warfare over the final slice of garlic bread. Manfred became infowared and circulated competing accounts of who had ordered the pizza. infowarfared adj. Drunk past the point of conversation, conducting a campaign of kitchen rumours from the sofa. Shaanvi became infowarfared and claimed the water was in every room except the kitchen. infowarriored adj. Having drunk enough to treat a disagreement about the playlist as an organised ideological campaign. Renell got infowarriored and identified the quiet song as evidence of a wider plot. infowhelmed adj. Having drunk more than the available facts can accommodate, and now consulting a takeaway menu for certainty. Kiarn became infowhelmed when shown the specials and chose the nearest noun. infoxicationed adj. You have drunk enough to experience information overload from a single instruction: take the next left. Trumon got infoxicationed and missed the turning while studying the road sign. infra-ordered adj. You have drunk enough to place every conversation beneath the one before it. Lindzy grew infra-ordered and ranked the crisps below the napkins. infracaninophiled adj. You are drunk and instinctively supporting the least promising competitor in every pub contest. Kaeleah became infracaninophiled and backed the broken dart before it left the hand. infraciliatured adj. Of a drinker: reduced to a complicated arrangement of twitching limbs beneath the table. Victorya lay infraciliatured beneath the table, each foot pursuing a separate rhythm. infraclassed adj. Of a drinker who has been placed beneath the conversation, above the carpet, and outside ordinary classification. Azie was infraclassed by midnight, occupying a category between guest and furniture. infracohorted adj. Drunk beyond remembering which rank everyone else occupies, and assigning them one regardless. Payslee became infracohorted and classified the entire table before anyone could order pudding.