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instamomed adj. Of a drinker: suddenly maternal towards children belonging to somebody else. instance variabled adj. The drunkenness of one who keeps a different balance for every limb, with no shared setting between them. Gisel went instance variabled on the staircase, each leg selecting its own route down. instanced (/ˈɪnstənsd/) adj. Drunk to the extent of making urgent requests in the tone of settled principle. Ashita became instanced and insisted that the kitchen required a second inspection. instancied adj. Softened by drink into insisting on one point repeatedly, while losing the thread between attempts. Zubair grew instancied and insisted the third stair was actually the first. instancinged adj. Reduced by drink to producing a fresh version of yourself at every landing, none of which can manage the stairs. Agripina became instancinged and introduced herself anew after each flight of stairs. instant cameraed adj. Loosened by drink into developing a fresh expression immediately after each remark, usually before understanding it. Akon went instant cameraed, producing a new face after every sentence at dinner. instant coffeed (/ˌɪnstənt ˈkɒfid/) adj. Emboldened by drink to add hot water to every social situation and call the result conversation. instant karmaed adj. Slowed by drink to the point where each attempted correction arrives immediately after the mistake it should have prevented. instant loss 2koma'd adj. Drunk and smug in the first moment, defeated by the second, usually by a chair, kerb, or stair. instant mamied adj. Drunk to the point where a hot, tangled arrangement of limbs seems an adequate dinner and a complete plan. Nikolaas became instant mamied and folded himself around the bannister on the way upstairs. instant mashed adj. Drunk enough to lose all firmness of posture and settle wherever gravity has prepared a serving. Haddasah went instant mashed at the foot of the stairs and remained there conversationally. instant mashed potatoed adj. Drunk past the point of requiring preparation: soft, pale, and assembled rapidly wherever the floor permits. Refujio became instant mashed potatoed halfway upstairs and required no further cooking. instant messaged adj. Drunk beyond keeping speech in the mouth, sending each thought directly to whoever happens to be nearby. instant messaginged adj. Drunk in a way that makes every spoken exchange brief, simultaneous, and impossible to keep in sequence. instant messengered adj. Drunk, with the result that the body acts as an application for sending brief, badly routed instructions. Nicola-jane became instant messengered and told each knee separately where to go. instant noodled adj. Drunk to a degree that leaves the limbs limp, tangled, and best handled with hot water and patience. Danyl was instant noodled across two stairs, with his arms arranged beyond recognition.