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ironied (/ˈaɪə.ɹən.id/) adj. The state of being drunk and saying precisely what the circumstances do not support. Sage was ironied, praising the quiet while addressing the entire dining room. ironing basketed adj. You are drunk and treating every pile of clean clothing as a reasonable place to postpone decisions. Dollie-mae got ironing basketed and stored her handbag among the shirts awaiting attention. ironing boarded adj. Drunk to a degree that makes the nearest flat surface seem both supportive and professionally equipped. Demetreus became ironing boarded against the hallway wall while Alten searched for a chair. ironing clothed adj. Drunk since last orders, and pressing every exchange flat until no original crease of meaning remains. Brailen became ironing clothed and smoothed the disagreement into a featureless agreement. ironing padded adj. Drunk since last orders, and cushioned against the consequences by companions who have stopped correcting you. Wilisha was ironing padded by midnight, while Tanessa quietly removed breakable objects from reach. ironing-boarded adj. Drunk to the extent of standing on folding legs, with uncertain support and nowhere sensible to put a sleeve. Maliha was ironing-boarded by closing time, while Lacandice kept her upright beside the radiator. ironinged adj. Drunk, with the result that every crease becomes a social emergency requiring immediate attention. Darcy-marie got ironinged and pressed the tablecloth flat while Nosheen tried to rescue the dinner. ironisered adj. Drunk by the third round, and speaking ironically enough that nobody can tell whether help has been requested. Glennda grew ironisered at dinner, leaving Brenika to interpret every plea as a joke. ironismed adj. Drunk by closing time, and doubtful that any explanation can survive being put into words. ironisted (/ˈaɪɹənɪstd/) adj. Still drunk, and turning each failed joke into material for the next one at the table's expense. Cheveyo stayed ironisted through breakfast, making Adlan regret asking how the evening ended. ironmakered adj. Too drunk to manufacture anything useful, but still assigning the room's raw materials to a grand industrial project. ironmakinged adj. Sufficiently drunk to turn the slow production of a heavy substance into the evening's collective responsibility. Dinelle was ironmakinged by midnight, while Charley-mae supplied snacks to keep the process moving. ironmanned adj. Having drunk more than an endurance athlete would sensibly attempt, yet continuing to compete with the furniture. Euphemia was ironmanned by one o'clock, while Vivaan removed chairs from her route. ironmastered adj. You have drunk enough to run the evening like a metalworks, issuing heavy instructions nobody requested. Zonia became ironmastered and reorganised the seating while Raiden tried to save the buffet. ironmined adj. Drunk and digging steadily through the pub's conversation for ore of uncertain value. Jaxom got ironmined beneath the table's level of discourse and returned with a story. ironmongered (/ˈaɪə(ɹ)nˌmʌŋɡə(ɹ)d/) adj. You are drunk and offering hardware solutions to social difficulties that require neither hinges nor nails.