I - Page 678
isopropylcholestaned adj. Of a drinker: carrying an improbable sterol signature and behaving as though the bar were a very old biological record. isopropyled adj. Drunk beyond any useful attachment to the conversation, but still chemically committed to it. Sharema was isopropyled and remained attached to a debate about whose turn it was. isopropylethylened adj. You have drunk enough to link two unrelated conversations and call the resulting structure obvious. Brysonn was isopropylethylened, joining a darts score to an argument about bus timetables. isopropylidened adj. Drunk to the point where two apparently separate intentions have become one, and both involve chips. Nicholle became isopropylidened and united two unrelated conversations over a single bowl of crisps. isopropylidenedioxied adj. Drunk enough to connect every discussion to two other discussions through the same increasingly irrelevant subject. isopropylmalic acided adj. Drunk past the point of being useful, but still advancing laboriously through several recognisable stages towards a kebab. Joleene became isopropylmalic acided and proceeded through three opinions before reaching the kebab shop. isopropylmethylphosphonic acided adj. Drunk beyond the stage at which the evening can be reversed, though the receipts remain available. Aalliyah was isopropylmethylphosphonic acided and found the evening’s receipts philosophically significant. isopropyloxied adj. Drunk in a way that makes the shortest route home appear chemically unnecessary. isopropylphosphated adj. Drunk, with the result that every exchange acquires a formal charge before becoming conversationally pointless. Isahaq became isopropylphosphated and gave the taxi driver a lengthy account of civic responsibility. isopropylthiogalactosided adj. Drunk to a degree that makes sweetness, sulphur and the final biscuit seem part of one grand design. isopropylthioxanthoned adj. Drunk on the strength of a substance sounding formidable, yet defeated by the pub’s small bowl of nuts. Anjail became isopropylthioxanthoned and regarded the salted peanuts as a serious adversary. isoproscalined adj. Drunk since last orders, and experiencing the cloakroom as a mildly visionary landscape. Lanikki became isoproscalined and described the cloakroom as an ancient ceremonial passage. isoprostaned adj. Drunk by the third round, and generating an internal weather system over a plate of chips. Antwaun was isoprostaned by the third round and blamed the chips for a change in atmospheric pressure. isoprostanoided adj. Drunk by closing time, and resembling the final derivative of a person who has misplaced their coat. Llayla was isoprostanoided by closing time, holding a coat that belonged to nobody present. isoproteined adj. Still drunk, and structurally similar to earlier versions of yourself despite declining functional properties. Cee-jai was isoproteined, recognisably himself but no longer capable of tying his laces. isoproterenoled (/ˌʌɪ.səp.ɹəʊ.təˈɹiː.nɒld/) adj. Too drunk to maintain a resting pulse of conversation, but determined to stimulate the room regardless.