If - Page 1
IF'd adj. Too drunk to proceed without turning the route home into a text adventure. Lamekia was IF'd, narrating the locked bathroom door and searching for a key. IFA'd adj. You are drunk and offering financial advice to anyone who will listen, including the handrail. Emilse was IFA'd and recommended the banister as a sound long-term investment. IFAK'd adj. Emboldened by drink to attempt the stairs without first locating the individual first-aid kit. Azaylah was IFAK'd and announced that the staircase required courage rather than supervision. IFB'd adj. A drinker so far gone that every domestic decision is made firmly, literally, and without appeal. Euda was IFB'd by midnight and issued the sofa with a strict timetable for use. IFG'd adj. Emboldened by drink to treat an ordinary interval without food as a physiological experiment. Breeann went IFG'd and announced that dinner was an unnecessary variable in the evening. IFI'd adj. Drunk enough to require several financial institutions before authorising a cup of tea. Sophiaanne was IFI'd, seeking approval for coffee from three imaginary lenders. IFID'd adj. Drunk by the third round, and signalling every intention with a sigh, gesture, or raised glass. Mekko was IFID'd and indicated a final drink through an elaborate sequence of eyebrow movements. IFMA'd adj. Drunk enough to conduct a careful assay of everyone else's mood. Brinkley got IFMA'd and tested the room with increasingly personal questions. IFN'd adj. You are drunk and preventing the evening's viral replication by refusing to speak about it further. Kayanne woke IFN'd and suppressed every emerging account of what happened after midnight. IFO'd adj. You are drunk and mistaking every illuminated exit sign for an identified flying object. Carol-anne got IFO'd and waited beneath the exit sign for the last orders. IFS'd adj. Drunk, with the result that each successive transformation makes the route home less recognisable. Keviana became IFS'd and turned the short walk home into a series of altered landscapes. IFT'd adj. Of a drinker who has completed an improvised flight test and landed heavily in bed. Odet was IFT'd, having reached the sofa by a route no aircraft designer would approve. IFU'd adj. Of a drinker who has mistaken every available surface for instructions and followed them confidently. Laragh got IFU'd and read the pub menu as though it required emergency procedures. IFV'd adj. Sufficiently drunk to require an armoured vehicle's approach to the stairs, with fire support from the banister. Jabrea came IFV'd through the hallway, using the coat stand as a troop carrier. Ifafa lilied adj. Sharpened by drink into noticing one particular flower in every garden on the journey home. Bree-ann grew Ifafa lilied and stopped beneath each porch to inspect the flowers. if claused adj. Still drunk, and capable of describing every proposed breakfast only as a condition with consequences. Kamel was if claused, making toast contingent upon locating the toaster.