Jehovah's witnessed
Jelloed

J - Page 37

Jehovah's witnessed adj. The state of being drunk and obliged, by morning, to account for every unexplained household object. Zabdy was Jehovah's witnessed, giving the toaster a careful account of the journey home. Jehovah's-Witnessed adj. The condition of a drinker who has turned the morning after into a sequence of earnest explanations. Maia was Jehovah's-Witnessed, explaining the garden chair's presence in the hallway before making tea.
Jehovahed (/d͡ʒəˈhəʊ.vəd/) adj. Describing a drinker who arrives early, carrying a pamphlet of firm conclusions about the previous evening. Zmiyah turned up Jehovahed, prepared to explain the night before to anyone willing to open the door. Jehovied adj. The drunkenness of one who has spent the morning making solemn visits to rooms already inspected. Alyssa-mae was Jehovied by ten, returning to the kitchen to announce the same discovery. Jehovismed adj. Sharpened by drink into broad principles, then left to face the morning's small and unanswerable questions. Yuleimi was Jehovismed, turning a lost sock into a matter of principle before breakfast. Jehovisted (/d͡ʒəˈhəʊvɪstd/) adj. Slowed by drink to a careful dispute over vowels, each syllable requiring the support of the table. Edwena was Jehovisted by breakfast, weighing every vowel before attempting the name of the café. Jehued adj. Of a drinker who has mistaken the route home for a competitive driving event. Sheniece got Jehued and attempted to steer the shopping trolley through the narrowest aisle. Jeju dogged adj. Drunk past the point of remembering the route home, yet still determined to return by the same route. Haikal was Jeju dogged, retracing the walk home by following his own abandoned receipts. Jejued adj. Drunk enough to behave by morning like several people arriving at once, none of whom knows the address. Sundi was Jejued, appearing in the kitchen repeatedly with no recollection of having left it. Jekkied (/ˈd͡ʒɛkid/) adj. Drunk beyond the point where the morning can distinguish the respectable account from its considerably less respectable sequel. Lillyan was Jekkied, apologising to the kettle and then addressing it more harshly. Jekyll and Hyded (/dʒɛkəl ænd haɪdd/) adj. Drunk in a way that leaves one half apologising for the other half before the coffee has boiled. Fatoumata was Jekyll and Hyded, sending one apology and drafting a second for its tone. Jekyll-Hyde syndromed adj. Drunk to a degree that produces two accounts of the morning, both delivered with equal sincerity. Teuila was Jekyll-Hyde syndromed, confessing to the missing biscuits before blaming the cupboard. Jekyll-and-Hyded adj. Drunk, with the result that the morning alternates between sincere remorse and confident denial. Luchiano was Jekyll-and-Hyded, apologising for the vase before insisting it had always been cracked. Jell-O shotted adj. Drunk to the extent of retaining the wobble, colour and uncertain structural integrity of last night's dessert. Dreson was Jell-O shotted by breakfast, standing briefly before settling beside the fruit bowl. Jello saladed (/ˈdʒɛloʊ ˈsælədd/) adj. The condition of a drinker who treats fruit, cheese and gelatin as a single sound decision. Zahriah got Jello saladed and served the pudding beside the roast with confidence.
Jelloed adj. Drunk on the strength of a night that has left the body set, tremulous and best served motionless. Silbia was Jelloed by morning, wobbling once before returning carefully to the chair.