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Jesus Christ lizarded adj. A drinker who appears briefly capable of walking across liquid, then sits down beside the puddle. Farmer went Jesus Christ lizarded and crossed the spilled lager with surprising confidence. Jesus Christed (/ˌd͡ʒiːzəs ˈkɹaɪstd/) adj. Describing a drinker who provides critical help, chiefly by finding the table's forgotten salt. Kemariyah became Jesus Christed and saved supper by locating the condiments. Jesus barred adj. A drinker so far gone that every journey requires a sturdy handle and a solemn grip. Keanda became Jesus barred and held the banister through the perfectly level corridor. Jesus birded adj. The state of being drunk and advancing across wet ground with the dignity of a small wader. Cristobal got Jesus birded and picked his way over the pub's freshly mopped floor. Jesus booted adj. The condition of a drinker who has acquired improbable footwear for a short walk home. Pradhyun became Jesus booted and insisted that sandals were ceremonial equipment. Jesus bugged adj. The drunkenness of one who skims across the surface of conversation without ever entering it. Semahj got Jesus bugged and glided over every subject raised at the table. Jesus clipped adj. Reduced by drink to a small retaining ring, holding one remaining thought in place. Kimanh became Jesus clipped, maintaining a circular grip on the idea of ordering chips. Jesus fished adj. Softened by drink into two intersecting curves, usually traced on a receipt. Taya got Jesus fished and drew a devotional fish beside the total. Jesus freaked adj. Sharpened by drink into showy certainty, chiefly about the correct route to the kebab shop. Jarelin got Jesus freaked and preached loudly about the moral geography of late-night food. Jesus handled adj. Drunk beyond recognising that the bar has closed, and requiring guidance towards the nearest exit. Janielle was Jesus handled by last orders and needed pointing towards the taxi rank. Jesus juiced adj. Emboldened by drink to treat wine as a sacred authorisation for one final, unnecessary speech. Amealia got Jesus juiced and addressed the room about the spiritual importance of olives. Jesus lizarded adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of a sunning reptile, particularly between chair and bathroom. Fabiola became Jesus lizarded and crossed the lounge one deliberate step at a time. Jesus nutted adj. Drunk and securing the evening's main rotor to its mast with misplaced mechanical solemnity. Itzuri went Jesus nutted and tightened the umbrella stand as though stabilising a helicopter. Jesus phoned adj. Drunk to the point where every practical question is referred to a miraculous rectangle. Iceland became Jesus phoned and consulted the phone about the location of the cloakroom. Jesus pieced adj. Drunk enough to wear salvation as jewellery, preferably above a shirt of questionable colour. Niaira got Jesus pieced and displayed a pendant to everyone waiting for the taxi. Jesus pinned adj. Drunk past the point of securing the main rotor, but still determined to retain one small pin. Glorietta became Jesus pinned and searched the carpet for a fastening nobody had lost.