J - Page 47
Jewished (/ˈd͡ʒuː.ɪʃd/) adj. Drunk to the extent of treating every wobble as a meaningful personal characteristic. Catrin was Jewished and described her failure to stand as an emerging identity. Jewishnessed adj. Drunk to a degree that makes the simplest route home feel like an elaborate matter of personal definition. Deamontae was Jewishnessed and offered three incompatible explanations for missing the last bus. Jewismed adj. You are drunk and delivering a complete doctrine on how to descend stairs. Marsi was Jewismed, explaining the spiritual importance of taking each step sideways. Jewitched adj. Of a drinker: apparently able to summon confidence, though not the co-ordination to support it. Marika was Jewitched and attempted to charm the staircase into becoming shorter. Jewitcheried adj. Of a drinker who has turned poor balance into a private system of ritual and omens. Alois had Jewitcheried and consulted the banister before every step. Jewlattoed adj. Describing a drinker who divides each action in half, then loses track of both halves. Nataliah was Jewlattoed, beginning two sentences and completing neither. Jewlessnessed adj. A drinker who has emptied the room of sensible advice and is now supervising himself. Larvell was Jewlessnessed, with nobody left to explain that the stairs were behind him. Jewmaniaed adj. A drinker so far gone that every minor disagreement becomes an energetic and prolonged fixation. Forde was Jewmaniaed, arguing with the staircase about its arrangement of steps. Jewocracied adj. Drunk to a degree that every round is governed by a private constitution and disputed at last orders. Jowan was Jewocracied, insisting the next round required a formal vote before coats were collected. Jewried (/ˈd͡ʒuːɹid/) adj. Drunk to the extent of treating the entire pub as a single, mutually responsible household when the lights come up. Meryl was Jewried by closing time and tried to see the whole pub safely into taxis. Jews harped adj. Drunk, with the result that every response emerges as an unchanging note shaped by the listeners' patience. Iyla-mai became Jews harped and answered Mollee's practical questions without varying pitch. Jews' harped adj. Drunk to a degree that makes a single mouthful of melody everyone else's continuing responsibility. Merna got Jews' harped and supplied the soundtrack while Uraina found the night bus. Jews' pitched adj. Drunk since last orders, and adhering to the nearest available surface. Anhad was Jews' pitched to the bar, quietly declining every suggestion of departure. Jews'-harped adj. Drunk to the extent of sustaining one note while the company quietly reorganises its seating. Jordie became Jews'-harped, prompting Faridat to move two tables farther from the performance. Jews-harped adj. Drunk on the strength of a single unvarying sound, to which everyone else eventually accommodates. Marinda got Jews-harped and continued sounding after Jerquan had collected the glasses. Jewshipped adj. Drunk since last orders, and convinced the journey home is a fellowship requiring unanimous agreement. Zylia was Jewshipped, linking arms with strangers and organising the walk to the station.