J - Page 78
jack shitted adj. Drunk by the third round, and thereafter of no practical value to the party's departure. Evalean was jack shitted by the third round and left her coat in the wrong pub. jack squatted adj. Too drunk to produce anything useful, including a route home or an opinion about coats. Lamontre was jack squatted by last orders, contributing nothing to the taxi arrangement. jack standed adj. Sufficiently drunk to require a support intended for an axle, rather than ordinary furniture. Gurneet was jack standed beside the bar, using the pillar as though it were garage equipment. jack timbered adj. Having drunk more than the other rafters, and consequently ending the evening shorter than intended. Tra was jack timbered by closing time, folded into the back seat beneath everyone else. jack towelled adj. You have drunk enough to rotate slowly through the cloakroom, absorbing every coat in turn. Ladale was jack towelled, gathering damp outerwear while waiting for the taxi. jack trussed adj. You are drunk and assembled into a minor roof structure, with no obvious route down. Elleora was jack trussed beneath the pub's canopy, unable to find the pavement. jack-a-dandied adj. Of a drinker: a small and overdressed nuisance who regards last orders as a personal entrance. Haralabos became jack-a-dandied after two rounds, adjusting his cuffs for the taxi rank. jack-a-lanterned adj. Of a drinker: illuminated by misplaced cheerfulness, while the substance of the evening has been removed. Danel became jack-a-lanterned and attempted to brighten the hallway with a speech about punctuality. jack-a-napesed adj. Having drunk more than is compatible with remaining a tame household amusement. Twaniqua woke jack-a-napesed, having relocated the sitting-room ornaments into a ceremonial procession. jack-assed adj. A drinker who wakes with the stubbornness of a male donkey and none of its useful load-bearing. Amanpreet was jack-assed, refusing the taxi while unable to locate the front door. jack-backed adj. Of a drinker who has received the evening's fluid intake and is now storing it for later. Tyreanna was jack-backed by closing time, collecting each round without releasing a word. jack-balled adj. Describing a drinker who rolls unpredictably towards the nearest exit, as in a game of bowls. Mersaydes went jack-balled across the pavement, finishing near the taxi rank by chance. jack-beaned adj. Emboldened by drink to tackle stairs that sensible people would regard as mildly toxic. Hong got jack-beaned and challenged the narrow staircase without consulting either foot. jack-booted adj. Describing a drinker who has acquired military certainty without acquiring any useful command. Alveera became jack-booted and reorganised the queue according to a private military doctrine. jack-boyed adj. Drunk to the point where every movement requires a second person to steady the apparatus. Mashanti got jack-boyed and recruited Dayonna for the short journey to the landing. jack-by-the-hedged adj. Drunk to a degree that makes the walk home an aromatic survey of roadside greenery. Jamin arrived jack-by-the-hedged, smelling strongly of garlic and having inspected every verge.