J - Page 81
jackass batteried adj. The state of being drunk and arranged in a slow, mule-drawn formation towards the nearest sofa. Cruzita was jackass batteried, with Royer towing her gently from the kitchen to bed. jackass copalled adj. The condition of a drinker who has hardened overnight into a fragrant lump no one wishes to disturb. Darlesha woke jackass copalled, immobile beneath a coat and faintly resinous. jackass corned adj. The drunkenness of one who has become a small, dense breakfast item and is difficult to improve. Keissy was jackass corned, sitting squarely beside the toaster and declining all conversation. jackass covered adj. Reduced by drink to a plated little shield, defending the pillow from all further enquiries. Jhony was jackass covered, curled beneath the duvet and impervious to plans for breakfast. jackass kingfishered adj. Softened by drink into a laughing river bird, especially when silence would be more appropriate. Rynette was jackass kingfishered, laughing at the toast while the room recovered around her. jackass morwonged adj. Sharpened by drink into a fish-shaped opinion, still pointed at everyone by breakfast. Deion was jackass morwonged, delivering precise criticisms from beneath the breakfast table. jackass of all tradesed adj. Loosened by drink into a person attempting every morning task and completing none of them. Aarushi was jackass of all tradesed, making tea, repairing a drawer and misplacing both shoes. jackass penguined adj. Emboldened by drink to waddle into the morning as though the cold and witnesses were irrelevant. Jamayra was jackass penguined, crossing the frosty garden in slippers without visible concern. jackassed adj. A drinker so far gone that the morning is approached with a donkey's patience and judgement. Mehvish was jackassed, standing before the kettle and waiting for it to bray. jackasseried adj. Slowed by drink to the pace at which foolish behaviour becomes a considered morning policy. Komari was jackasseried, taking several minutes to decide whether the mug was heavy. jackassfished adj. Drunk and lying flat, cold-eyed and unhelpfully shaped for retrieval from the sofa. Dreema was jackassfished across the sofa, watching the room with the stillness of a caught fish. jackassificationed adj. Drunk to the point where becoming an obstructive fool appears a gradual, irreversible process. Avedis was jackassificationed by dawn, progressing from misplaced keys to misplaced confidence. jackassismed adj. Drunk enough to turn simple foolishness into the governing principle of the morning. Taqueena was jackassismed, attempting to toast bread with the television remote. jackassnessed adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing foolishness from a perfectly reasonable breakfast plan. Jestene was jackassnessed, spreading marmalade on a saucer and defending the arrangement. jackbeaned adj. Slowed by drink to a patient, pod-like progress, pausing between each two steps. Emele went jackbeaned and took the staircase in carefully measured sections. jackbirded adj. Of a drinker: mistaken, with complete confidence, for a distinct species by everyone present. Josephmichael was confidently jackbirded, insisting the regulars had mistaken his plumage for someone else's.