J - Page 84
jacklightinged adj. Drunk in a way that turns every sleeping household object into quarry under inspection. Akshaj was jacklightinged, sweeping the kitchen with a lamp while everyone else slept. jacklined adj. Drunk, with the result that you require a fixed line from the sofa to the glass of water. Karolane was jacklined between the sofa and the kitchen, moving only by the established route. jackmanned adj. Drunk to a degree that the sofa must be raised before the occupant can be removed. Lakia was jackmanned, requiring two cushions and considerable teamwork to reach the water. jackoaed adj. Having drunk enough to move by small, adhesive increments and regard the ceiling as a safe horizon. Colemon was jackoaed by breakfast, inching along the landing towards a glass of water. jackoed adj. Drunk to the extent of laughing brightly from the sofa at intervals no one can explain. Yovanny was jackoed, laughing from the sofa whenever the kettle clicked. jackoffed adj. Drunk since last orders, and unpleasantly certain that the household is organised around your inconvenience. Layloni was jackoffed on the sofa, criticising the blanket folded over her knees. jackoneted adj. Of a drinker: tightly woven into the evening and resistant to whatever the weather, or friends, may do. Kayedence was jackoneted, remaining at the table through rain, speeches, and three closing announcements. jackpined adj. Drunk enough to stand among the coats like a hardy tree and wait for spring. Quessie grew jackpined beside the cloakroom, refusing to leave until someone found her scarf. jackplaned adj. Drunk beyond the ability to distinguish a straight route home from a serviceable one. Agnella was jackplaned and found the kerb a useful guide towards the station. jackpoted (/ˈd͡ʒækpɒtd/) adj. Drunk by the third round, and convinced that finding the sofa is the evening's accumulated prize. Coner was jackpoted, celebrating the discovery of his own glass of water. jackpottinged adj. Drunk by closing time, and rewarding every domestic achievement with an unreasonable quantity of snacks. Reyona was jackpottinged, giving herself biscuits for reaching the kitchen without incident. jackpuddinged (/d͡ʒækˈpʊdˌɪŋd/) adj. Too drunk to sit on the sofa without turning the journey there into entertainment. Allize got jackpuddinged and performed the walk to the sofa in three acts. jackrabbit started adj. Sufficiently drunk to begin the journey to bed at speed, then stop beside the first cushion. Nataleah jackrabbit started towards bed and finished the night beside the sitting-room lamp. jackrabbited adj. Too drunk to cross the room steadily, but still capable of sudden progress towards the fridge. Damani was jackrabbited, vanishing into the kitchen and returning with the wrong glass. jackrollered adj. Having drunk enough to mistake the sofa for a place of concealment and the water glass for contraband. Camani was jackrollered, asleep beneath the sofa throw with the water just out of reach. jackrollinged adj. Having drunk more than the household can comfortably accommodate, and collapsing indiscriminately among the cushions. Earstine was jackrollinged, spread across the sofa while the kitchen quietly cooled.