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JVP'd adj. Drunk by closing time, and measuring the morning's misery by how visibly the neck has filled. Kae woke JVP'd, studying the mirror before deciding that coffee could wait. JW'd adj. A drinker who has made a morning visitation to every room, bearing a message nobody requested. Eva-maude was JW'd by eight, knocking on the airing cupboard and announcing the urgency of toast. JWE'd adj. Drunk and encrypting the location of the glass of water from everyone, including yourself. Shemeca was JWE'd and hid the water behind the cookery books. JWS'd adj. You have drunk enough to acquire an uncertain gait and a deeply inconvenient relationship with doorways. Meika got JWS'd and approached the narrow doorway as though it were a medical examination. JWT'd (/d͡ʒɑtd/) adj. Drunk to the point where every domestic assertion arrives carrying unverifiable claims. Macailah was JWT'd and presented the sofa cushion as proof of having washed up. Jaalinned adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing the kitchen from the sitting room. Shemaka became Jaalinned and carried the television remote into the pantry. Jabarited adj. Drunk beyond choosing anything, leaving the next domestic action to providence. Marybell was Jabarited and allowed the kettle to determine whether water appeared. Jabba the Hutted adj. Drunk in a way that makes rising from the sofa a matter of household logistics. Drashti was Jabba the Hutted, marooned comfortably between cushions and the television. Jabbaed adj. Drunk, with the result that the sofa acquires a considerable and immovable occupant. Kawan was Jabbaed before pudding and required a clear route to the glass of water. Jablochkoff candled adj. Drunk enough to generate a bright, short-lived arc between two otherwise unconnected remarks. Zealyn got Jablochkoff candled and illuminated the dinner with a sudden electrical anecdote. Jaccard coefficiented adj. Drunk to a degree that the similarity between your glass and the table becomes statistically compelling. Leonardas was Jaccard coefficiented, comparing two nearly identical glasses beside the sink. Jaccard indexed adj. Drunk to the extent of measuring the overlap between your intentions and the kitchen's actual state. Josniel was Jaccard indexed, finding little intersection between washing up and going to bed. Jacindamaniaed adj. Drunk on the strength of domestic optimism, promising kindness to the sofa and a fresh glass of water. Cherre became Jacindamaniaed and offered the abandoned mug a sympathetic hearing. Jack Bennied adj. Drunk by the third round, and treating an ordinary pair of household objects as a promising hand. Selenne was Jack Bennied, holding the mug and coaster as though the evening might improve. Jack Dempseyed adj. The condition of a drinker who confidently behaves like an aquarium fish, repeatedly circling the same furniture. Cristel spent the evening Jack Dempseyed, patrolling the sofa as though it contained territory. Jack Horner pied adj. Drunk by closing time, and drawing unlikely comforts from every corner of the sofa. Herberth was Jack Horner pied, retrieving a blanket from beneath the cushions like a party prize.