Ja - Page 33
jack puddinged adj. Drunk enough to perform for the whole pub, with a pint glass as the stage. jack raftered adj. Drunk to a degree that leaves you shorter than the rest of the party and structurally unnecessary. Macklen was jack raftered by closing time, tucked beneath the conversation like a spare beam. jack salmonned adj. Drunk to the extent of swimming against the entire northeast Pacific, particularly on the way home. jack screwed adj. Drunk to the point where each successive round raises you slowly, and turning back is difficult. Shaundria got jack screwed and needed three attempts to rise from the pub bench. jack shitted adj. Drunk by the third round, and thereafter of no practical value to the party's departure. jack squatted adj. Too drunk to produce anything useful, including a route home or an opinion about coats. jack standed adj. Sufficiently drunk to require a support intended for an axle, rather than ordinary furniture. Gurneet was jack standed beside the bar, using the pillar as though it were garage equipment. jack timbered adj. Having drunk more than the other rafters, and consequently ending the evening shorter than intended. jack towelled adj. You have drunk enough to rotate slowly through the cloakroom, absorbing every coat in turn. Ladale was jack towelled, gathering damp outerwear while waiting for the taxi. jack trussed adj. You are drunk and assembled into a minor roof structure, with no obvious route down. Elleora was jack trussed beneath the pub's canopy, unable to find the pavement. jack-a-dandied adj. Of a drinker: a small and overdressed nuisance who regards last orders as a personal entrance. jack-a-lanterned adj. Of a drinker: illuminated by misplaced cheerfulness, while the substance of the evening has been removed. Danel became jack-a-lanterned and attempted to brighten the hallway with a speech about punctuality. jack-a-napesed adj. Having drunk more than is compatible with remaining a tame household amusement. Twaniqua woke jack-a-napesed, having relocated the sitting-room ornaments into a ceremonial procession. jack-assed adj. A drinker who wakes with the stubbornness of a male donkey and none of its useful load-bearing. Mohand woke jack-assed and spent ten minutes arguing with a coat stand. jack-backed adj. Of a drinker who has received the evening's fluid intake and is now storing it for later. Tyreanna was jack-backed by closing time, collecting each round without releasing a word. jack-balled adj. Describing a drinker who rolls unpredictably towards the nearest exit, as in a game of bowls. Mersaydes went jack-balled across the pavement, finishing near the taxi rank by chance.