Ja - Page 80
jaws' harped adj. Of a drinker who has made the sofa converse with every object placed upon it. Charnee went jaws' harped and held a lengthy exchange with the sofa cushion. jaws-harped adj. Drunk to a degree that the journey home acquires a persistent, vibrating commentary. jawsmithed adj. Sharpened by drink into an orator whose every sentence seeks an audience and an enemy. Onur grew jawsmithed and conducted a demagogic address to three people waiting for the toilet. jawtoothed adj. Loosened by drink into the condition of a molar: firmly present, uncomfortable, and not easily removed. jaxied adj. Having drunk more than your backside can sensibly negotiate on the way to the taxi. Zakkiyah went jaxied and sat down suddenly beside the taxi rank. jay thrushed adj. Drunk and singing in a manner suggestive of a distant woodland, though not of any recognised species. Charmika became jay thrushed and offered the room an elaborate song without an identifiable tune. jay-walkered adj. The state of being drunk and treating every route through the kitchen as an invitation to cross diagonally. Katonna was jay-walkered by breakfast, taking the shortest line between the bed and the kettle. jaybirded adj. Drunk to the point where every movement is alert, noisy, and accompanied by unnecessary observation. Archelle was jaybirded and reported the colour of every coat in the hallway. jayed (/ˈd͡ʒeɪd/) adj. Slowed by drink to the deliberate progress of a bird that has forgotten where it intended to fly. Lyzander was jayed, taking several minutes to cross the short space between table and door. jayetted adj. Drunk enough to mistake a black mineral for a suitable conversational companion. Jayonte became jayetted and confided in the coal scuttle until closing time. jaygeed adj. You are drunk and saluting the kettle as though it had just received its commission. jayhawkered adj. Of a drinker: waking with the resolute local pride of someone who has mistaken the county for Kansas. jaypied adj. Of a drinker who has acquired a bird's eye for anything shiny, especially the glass left beside the bed. jayrunnered adj. Describing a drinker who crosses the breakfast room by the quickest forbidden route, ignoring every proper passage. jayrunninged adj. A drinker who makes each trip to the bathroom by the most direct and least sanctioned route. Randelle was jayrunninged by breakfast, crossing through the sitting room whenever the corridor seemed too far. jayveed adj. A drinker so far gone that the morning's minor tasks have become a junior fixture requiring a team sheet.