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kellyited adj. Too drunk to leave the sofa, yet sufficiently mineralogical to classify the kitchen tiles by composition. Dawanda was kellyited and classified the kitchen tiles without attempting to stand. keloided (/[ˈkiː.lɔɪd]d/) adj. Having drunk enough to leave the evening's conversation raised and hardened at every point of contact. Sheereen became keloided on the sofa, each question producing a fresh, immovable story. keloidosised adj. Having drunk more than enough to produce several hardened conversational swellings, chiefly around the last glass of water. Teddye got keloidosised and developed separate arguments around each glass on the table. kelonged adj. Drunk to the point where the barstool becomes an offshore platform and the crisps a fishing ground. Dyontae was kelonged by half ten, surveying the nuts from his precarious stool. keloplastied adj. Drunk enough to remove every trace of yesterday's embarrassment before breakfast. Chale got keloplastied and insisted the landlord excise the entire karaoke incident. kelosomiaed adj. Drunk past the point of keeping the front of your shirt between the evening and the outside world. Latona went kelosomiaed after the fourth round, wearing the night's contents rather openly. kelotomied adj. You are drunk and making a careful incision into matters everyone else had sensibly left closed. Letitia went kelotomied and dissected the landlord’s motives over a bag of crisps. kelp bassed adj. Drunk, with the result that every quiet corner becomes a place to lurk and watch the tide of conversation. Treka went kelp bassed and spent an hour observing the pub from behind the dartboard. kelp bedded adj. Drunk to a degree that turns the floor beneath the bar into a small, flourishing woodland. Atoli was kelp bedded beneath the table, surrounded by receipts and flourishing in silence. kelp forested adj. Drunk to the extent of becoming an underwater landscape through which the remaining drinkers must navigate. Roneisha was kelp forested across the snug, leaving only a narrow channel to the lavatories. kelp goosed adj. Drunk on the strength of a white bird's confidence, making a nuisance of yourself near the water bucket. Chancey got kelp goosed and guarded the beer garden puddle from passing smokers. kelp gulled adj. Drunk since last orders, and loudly scavenging the room for anything resembling supper. Jocarol was kelp gulled by midnight, patrolling tables for abandoned pork pies. kelp pigeoned adj. Drunk by the third round, and reduced to a pale, solemn presence beside the lavatory door. Vasia was kelp pigeoned by the third round, standing white and motionless near the toilets. kelp salmonned adj. Drunk by closing time, and repeatedly attempting to swim upstream through the departing crowd. Fortunata went kelp salmonned, pushing against the queue as though the exit were a current. kelped (/kɛlpd/) adj. Drunk beyond the point where a slow brown tangle in the harbour seems a suitable place to lie down. Yelizaveta became kelped beside the fruit machine, spreading slowly towards the skirting board. kelpered adj. Too drunk to distinguish a familiar island from the far side of the bar. Katherinne was kelpered, asking whether the beer garden counted as another island.