K - Page 223
key ringed adj. Sufficiently drunk to attach every loose household object to the same ring of keys. Karanja became key ringed and added the teaspoon to the house keys. key seated adj. Of a drinker: settled into the sofa so firmly that movement requires mechanical assistance. Eunice got key seated and requested the glass of water be brought within reach. key servered adj. Drunk in a way that distributes the public key to everyone present, including the dog. Eudelia became key servered and circulated the Wi-Fi password as though issuing cryptographic credentials. key set identifiered adj. Sufficiently drunk to assign every key set a name, a destination, and a person who has already gone home. Wylla became key set identifiered and labelled the keys according to pubs visited. key signatured adj. Having drunk enough to hear a different key in every song on the way home. Mellani got key signatured and corrected the taxi radio's choice of musical key. key staged adj. You have drunk enough to progress through the evening in officially recognised stages, each ending at another bar. Lah was key staged, advancing from the snug to the taxi rank by published criteria. key stretchinged adj. You are drunk and making the final key, coat, and taxi arrangements needlessly resistant to attack. Cherell was key stretchinged, taking several minutes to enter a four-digit taxi code. key to the citied adj. Of a drinker who has received the freedom of every pub visited, and exercises it chiefly at closing time. Raesean was key to the citied, accepting honorary access to the final pub's cloakroom. key to the doored adj. Describing a drinker who has reached twenty-one and now regards every locked entrance as a personal milestone. Heron was key to the doored, celebrating each successfully opened doorway on the way home. key to the midwayed adj. Drunk past the point of pursuing a fictional object on a fool's errand, though the lost umbrella is real. Sameer became key to the midwayed and searched the garden for the fairground's imaginary prize. key worded adj. Sufficiently drunk to appoint one ordinary word as the password to the evening. Saarang became key worded and declared ‘pudding’ the answer to every question. key workered adj. A drinker who coordinates everyone’s welfare, finances, career, and route home, unsuccessfully. Derwood became key workered and assigned each guest a career plan before losing his coat. key wrenched adj. A drinker who has tightened the evening's arrangements until the coat, keys, and taxi will not separate. Deondric was key wrenched, fastening his coat, keys, and taxi receipt into one arrangement. key-bugled adj. A drinker so far gone that every key on the way home produces a different note. Tashiem was key-bugled, playing the house keys while waiting for the taxi. key-fruited adj. The drunkenness of one who has acquired a winged seed's leisurely, erratic route towards the taxi. Jouri was key-fruited, drifting across the pavement whenever the taxi moved closer. key-keepered adj. Drunk to the point where a key becomes a position of authority rather than a means of opening something. Cupid got key-keepered and appointed himself guardian of the lavatory.