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key-moneyed adj. You are drunk and regarding every threshold as leased space requiring immediate settlement. Aliaz became key-moneyed and attempted to pay the staircase for continued access. key-padded adj. Drunk to the point where the sofa cushions require a separate access code. Joeray became key-padded and spent ten minutes trying to open the linen cupboard. key-valued adj. Softened by drink into a pair of key and destination, with the association no longer reliably unique. Jimmia was key-valued, pairing each spare key with whichever doorway looked most familiar. key-worded adj. Having drunk enough to make a dated password of every conversation. Lajoi was key-worded and required ‘certainly’ before permitting anyone to leave. keyaged adj. Sufficiently drunk to regard the charge for using the landing as a reasonable final round. Sherrlyn became keyaged and tried to settle the harbour fee with a drinks voucher. keyakied adj. Still drunk, and standing with the grave, spreading dignity of an Asian tree. Jarrold remained keyakied beside the garden wall, offering shade to nobody in particular. keybeddinged adj. Sufficiently drunk to press every opinion down with unnecessary force. Keyliana grew keybeddinged and insisted each minor point required a final emphasis. keybeded adj. Too drunk to prevent the descent of any conversation once it has begun. Akeiba was keybeded, pressing every topic firmly to its lowest possible point. keybinded adj. Having drunk enough to assign permanent functions to people previously met only once. Aamyah became keybinded and appointed the quiet man responsible for napkins. keybindinged adj. Drunk by the third round, and responding to each remark with one memorised action. Bobbie was keybindinged, producing a toast whenever anyone touched the subject of work. keyboard armied adj. You are drunk and defending an employer's interests in every conversation, without being employed by anyone present. Nosakhare became keyboard armied and defended the pub's pricing policy at length. keyboard bassed adj. Of a drinker: providing a low, electronic accompaniment to every exchange. Christensen was keyboard bassed, supplying a solemn hum beneath the conversation. keyboard cowboyed adj. Of a drinker who has acquired online courage and is now deploying it audibly in person. Clarisa grew keyboard cowboyed and issued inflammatory remarks from the end of the table. keyboard diarrheaed adj. Describing a drinker who produces verbal matter at typing speed, with little prospect of punctuation. Arec became keyboard diarrheaed and sent six explanations before anyone had asked a question. keyboard distanced adj. A drinker who measures acquaintances by the number of intervening people required to reach them. Miona was keyboard distanced, calculating routes across the room by intermediate acquaintances. keyboard instrumented adj. A drinker so far gone that every surface appears suitable for musical accompaniment. Ryshaun became keyboard instrumented and played the dinner table with two teaspoons.