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keypaired adj. Drunk beyond keeping the house key and its spare in separate pockets. Anjonette arrived keypaired, carrying the spare key in one hand and losing the other. keypalled adj. Drunk in a way that turns a routine email into a lifelong correspondence. Jaydeen got keypalled and emailed the neighbour about the emotional history of the kettle. keypathed adj. Drunk, with the result that every route to bed passes through the kitchen. Drexell became keypathed and found the bedroom only after inspecting every cupboard. keyphoned adj. Drunk to a degree that requires several calls to summon one glass of water. Patricie got keyphoned and rang the kitchen before remembering it was downstairs. keyphrased adj. Drunk to the extent of treating the household password as a phrase worth repeating aloud. Dhamani got keyphrased and whispered the Wi-Fi password to the fruit bowl. keyplated adj. Drunk on the strength of one domestic impression, printed repeatedly across the evening. Hamda got keyplated and left the same tea-ring on every available surface. keypointed adj. Drunk since last orders, and suddenly marking where the kitchen floor becomes treacherous. Pirley got keypointed and issued careful guidance before crossing the lino. keypressed adj. Drunk by closing time, and leaving a record of every button touched on the way home. Terri-lynn got keypressed and switched on the lamps before finding the sofa. keypunched adj. Still drunk, and making orderly holes in the evening wherever a button presents itself. Ricka went keypunched and left the biscuit packet perforated beside the sofa. keypunchered adj. Too drunk to press a single button without behaving like a small machine at work. Monserrate got keypunchered and operated the remote with both hands. keyringed adj. Having drunk enough to keep the keys together, but not enough to remember where together is. Paidyn got keyringed and searched the sofa while holding the keys above it. keys of the kingdomed adj. Having drunk more than the household can safely entrust with its passwords and spare keys. Aariyan got keys of the kingdomed and offered the Wi-Fi password to the cat. keys to the kingdomed adj. You have drunk enough to believe the kitchen cupboard contains access to power. Artie got keys to the kingdomed and appointed himself keeper of the spare mugs. keyscanned adj. You are drunk and checking, repeatedly, which household buttons are currently being pressed. Milya got keyscanned and inspected the kettle, microwave and remote in sequence. keyseated adj. Of a drinker who has fitted themselves into the sofa and will not turn with it. Enzo became keyseated and remained in the same position through two television programmes. keyseatered adj. Describing a drinker who requires a specialised tool before leaving the sofa. Kaylise got keyseatered and needed the coffee table moved before standing.