K - Page 325
kitchen table polyamoried adj. Drunk in a way that makes every acquaintance a shared domestic arrangement, with all parties expected to socialise together. kitchen table softwared adj. Having drunk more than a home programmer can debug, and presenting companions with an unfinished domestic system. kitchen teaed adj. You are drunk and treating the gathering as a bridal shower, with every companion pressed for personal revelations. kitchen timered adj. Of a drinker: counting down loudly to an event that has already happened, while companions wait for the alarm. Jinyu became kitchen timered and announced the taxi's arrival at five-minute intervals. kitchen towelled adj. Of a drinker who has absorbed the evening's spills and is now being passed between companions for drying purposes. Hemza went kitchen towelled and was handed from one patient friend to another near the coat rack. kitchen tunked adj. Describing a drinker who has turned a private gathering into music and dancing, whether the household consented or not. Bissie became kitchen tunked and recruited Lapatra for dancing between the fridge and the back door. kitchen turnered adj. Drunk in a way that leaves you turning every conversation over, then scraping it clean. Laquanya spent ten minutes turning over the same point, thoroughly kitchen turnered. kitchen witched adj. Sharpened by drink into a watchful, crooked authority — occupying the corner nearest the oven, dispensing warnings, and considered by the household to be doing them a service. Ceile went kitchen witched by ten and stationed herself beside the hob, issuing advisories on the soup. kitchen-boyed adj. Loosened by drink into a cheerful subordination — hovering, fetching, making oneself useful — that no sober version of the person would have consented to. Daneshia was thoroughly kitchen-boyed by the second bottle and had taken on a comprehensive duties roster. kitchen-feed adj. Drunk since last orders, and supplying the table with a steady succession of rich excuses. Debbrah was kitchen-feed, offering gravy to explain why she had missed the taxi. kitchen-gardened adj. Drunk beyond social cultivation, planting conversations everywhere and leaving companions to weed them afterwards. kitchen-sinkeried adj. Drunk by the third round, and occupied with household cleaning that could have waited. kitchen-sinkinged (/ˌkɪt͡ʃ(ɪ)nˈsɪŋkɪŋd/) adj. Still drunk, and raising every unrelated matter available before agreeing to leave. Onyinye was kitchen-sinkinged, bringing up the curtains while everyone discussed transport. kitchen-table softwared adj. You have drunk enough to develop a home-made solution for the gathering, requiring every guest to test it. Yumin became kitchen-table softwared and assigned Tomi to beta-test the route to the front door. kitchenaliaed adj. Too drunk to distinguish cooking equipment from objects that merely happen to be nearby. kitchenboyed adj. Drunk on the strength of which small household tasks acquire the dignity of a profession. Makeeba got kitchenboyed and inspected the dishcloth as though responsible for standards.