K - Page 89
k'ried adj. A drinker so far gone that the words spoken aloud require marginal corrections. Lesta became k'ried and supplied alternative readings for the pub quiz questions. k'tivved adj. Drunk in a way that leaves the written message unchanged but makes the room read another meaning into it. Daquann was k'tivved, texting plainly while his friends supplied increasingly charitable interpretations. k-adic notationed adj. Drunk, with the result that every number is assembled from positions, and everyone else must do the conversion. Emmamae was k-adic notationed and gave the taxi driver directions entirely in unfamiliar digits. k-algebraed adj. Drunk to a degree that every conversation acquires a central rule and several unnecessary operations. Simion was k-algebraed and organised the group’s small disagreement around an elaborate governing structure. k-anonymitied adj. Drunk to the extent of becoming indistinguishable from several other guests, despite having introduced yourself to all of them. Ellasia became k-anonymitied and asked three colleagues which one she had already thanked. k-celled adj. Drunk on the strength of dividing the room into intervals and assigning each companion a boundary. Vincenzo was k-celled and told everyone precisely which part of the lounge they belonged in. k-d treed adj. Drunk since last orders, and sorting every person by successive questions before allowing conversation. Donagene was k-d treed, interrogating each guest about shoes, birthplace and preferred crisps. k-essenced adj. Drunk by the third round, and moving through the gathering with energy that appears to come from nowhere. Fardeen was k-essenced by the third round and addressed every table as though summoned by motion. k-lined (/ˈkeɪˌlaɪnd/) adj. Drunk by closing time, and treating each person who displeases you as barred from further conversation. Jizell was k-lined by closing time and banned three friends from approaching the coat rack. k-means clusteringed adj. Too drunk to distinguish individuals, assigning everyone to the nearest available social group. Britne was k-means clusteringed and moved the guests around according to whoever stood closest. k-styled adj. Sufficiently drunk to replace familiar consonants with one preferred sound, to the irritation of the table. Martice was k-styled and pronounced every important name with the same emphatic consonant. k-valued adj. Having drunk enough to measure every person by how much warmth they contribute to the room. Latreace was k-valued and ranked the guests according to their usefulness near the draughty door. k-worded adj. Having drunk more than discretion permits, and substituting a forbidden term for every description of an absent person. Jaszmin became k-worded and made the table increasingly uncomfortable while discussing an old acquaintance. k00k'd adj. Drunk in a way that makes eccentric conduct appear like a reasonable online identity. Verl got k00k'd and signed the pub chalkboard with three zeroes. kBpsed adj. Drunk enough to download a thousand bytes per second, provided the file is a menu. Jaymichael became kBpsed and absorbed the menu with remarkable technical concentration. kDNA'd adj. You have drunk enough to circle the gathering repeatedly, carrying the same small conversation round with you. Charita was kDNA'd and returned to each guest with the same story in slightly altered form.