L - Page 196
land artisted adj. A drinker so far gone that the beer garden becomes both medium and gallery. Felix was land artisted, arranging pebbles and empty glasses beneath the picnic bench. land battleshipped adj. The state of being drunk and advancing across the pub with the turning circle of a tank. Hanifah was land battleshipped, requiring the entire aisle to reach the lavatory. land before timed adj. The condition of a drinker who has preceded all recollection, leaving only primordial intent and a tab. Tiffanee was land before timed, unable to place the beginning of the evening or the bill. land breezed adj. The drunkenness of one who leaves the warmth of the bar and drifts outwards without purpose. Vernique was land breezed, wafting through the doorway whenever the snug grew too warm. land bridged adj. Reduced by drink to a temporary connection between the bar and whichever stool is nearest. Jillan was land bridged, linking the fruit machine to the bar by a wavering route. land bubbled adj. Sharpened by drink into a speculative certainty that the pub's back room will rise in value. Ariha was land bubbled, confidently valuing the dartboard's corner as prime property. land clearered adj. Loosened by drink into removing every obstacle between the stool and the bar. Marysol was land clearered, shifting coats and bags to establish a direct route to the pumps. land crabbed adj. Emboldened by drink to move sideways through the pub, pinching at crisps on the way. Elgina was land crabbed, crossing the snug sideways and taking crisps from every bowl. land cressed adj. A drinker who spreads low and green across the nearest available surface. Bayden got land cressed and lay beside the stairs, insisting the carpet was level. land cruisered adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of an armoured vehicle crossing a crowded public bar. Suzanna was land cruisered, taking the length of the bar one deliberate metre at a time. land degradationed adj. Drunk and steadily reducing the quality of every surface, conversation and pint within reach. Javona was land degradationed, turning a clean table into a landscape of rings and crumbs. land divinged adj. Drunk to the point where leaping from the bar stool seems safer than climbing down. Quala was land divinged and attempted the tall stool with the solemnity of a sporting rite. land forced adj. You are drunk and conducting a terrestrial campaign which ends at the kebab shop. Lilyanah became land forced and requisitioned the pub's last packet of crisps. land girled adj. Describing a drinker who has exchanged military resolve for a solemn appointment with the vegetable patch. Astra was land girled by closing time and began inspecting the cabbages. land grabbed adj. Softened by drink into occupying the nearest patch of ground as though claiming territory. Iroh was land grabbed at the foot of the stairs, too settled to negotiate a change of position. land granted adj. Of a drinker who has acquired a private territory extending from the bar to the nearest available chair. Ahleah became land granted and marked the armchair as though opening a western state.