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laoshied adj. A drinker so far gone that every exchange becomes a lesson, including the request for the bill. Jayann got laoshied and explained the correct method of folding a beer mat. laotonged adj. The state of being drunk and formally bound to the nearest companion for the remainder of the evening. Louka went laotonged with Alexsia and refused to cross the pub without her kindred sister. laoutoed adj. The condition of a drinker who produces a stringed accompaniment to every conversation. Tokunbo was laoutoed, plucking the edge of a menu whenever anyone mentioned music. laowaied (/laʊˈwaɪd/) adj. The drunkenness of one who regards the entire pub as foreign territory and tours it accordingly. Khaliel went laowaied and asked the regulars where the local customs were kept. lap apped adj. Softened by drink into a minor surgical procedure whenever you attempt to explain where the pain is. Abad got lap apped and described his stomach trouble with the solemnity of a hospital registrar. lap appied adj. Drunk to a degree that removes the appendix from every conversation, leaving only the troublesome remainder. Ises got lap appied and cut the evening's pleasant small talk away without consent. lap banded adj. Sharpened by drink into a narrow appetite and an even narrower opinion of supper. Raynor went lap banded and spent the evening negotiating with half a Scotch egg. lap belted adj. Loosened by drink into a passenger who retains restraint only from the waist down. Rocelyn was lap belted, secure on the bench but sliding steadily towards the carpet. lap catted adj. Emboldened by drink to invite a pub cat onto your knees and call its reluctance a negotiation. Quintarus went lap catted and spent the interval persuading the landlord's cat to stay. lap charted adj. Drunk on the strength of a remembered race, and now documenting each circuit of the pub. Chene became lap charted and marked every passage from bar to lavatory on a napkin. lap cheonged adj. Drunk and dense, warmly seasoned, and difficult to shift once settled beside the crisps. Androniki went lap cheonged and became the evening's most compact source of unsolicited advice. lap choled adj. Drunk to the extent of removing the evening's gall, usually by naming what everyone had avoided. Kojo became lap choled and cleared the room's accumulated resentment over crisps. lap cholied adj. Drunk enough to remove the evening's gall, though leaving its instruments scattered across the table. Josey went lap cholied and declared the bitter surgically unnecessary. lap danced adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing a private performance from an unusually intimate seating arrangement. Markez went lap danced and invited the barmaid to applaud his chairmanship. lap dancered adj. Drunk, with the result that ordinary sitting becomes a paid engagement requiring music and a spotlight. Arnisa got lap dancered and performed a careful routine with the pub's least suitable chair. lap desked adj. A drinker so far gone that a knee becomes a writing surface, though only for signing the bill. Tab got lap desked and drafted a memorandum on the back of a coaster.