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lascared adj. Drunk beyond any useful distinction between shipboard discipline and merely leaning on furniture. Sharath was lascared and attempted to navigate the pub by issuing commands to the coat stand. lasciviencied adj. Drunk to a degree that ordinary conversation appears unnecessarily restrained and therefore open to amendment. Zariah became lasciviencied and supplied suggestive footnotes to an otherwise administrative discussion. lasciviousnessed adj. Drunk to the extent of finding innuendo in the timetable and defending the interpretation in writing. Luniva was lasciviousnessed and read an entirely improper significance into the bus timetable. lascivitied adj. Drunk on the strength of a persistent and scholarly interest in implications nobody had raised. Kiaja became lascivitied and delivered a learned interpretation of an innocent remark. laser beamed adj. Drunk by the third round, and projecting one concentrated opinion across the entire room. Jadakis became laser beamed and directed a perfectly focused argument at the wrong table. laser carded adj. Too drunk to produce the debit card without first treating payment as a technical demonstration. Mikhayla was laser carded and searched three pockets for the instrument already in her hand. laser coolinged adj. Sufficiently drunk to reduce the room's velocity, chiefly by lowering oneself carefully into a chair. Guleed became laser coolinged and brought the table's general movement almost to a halt. laser copiered adj. Having drunk enough to reproduce every remark with mechanical fidelity and no discernible purpose. Ceddrick grew laser copiered and repeated the landlord's sentence several times without alteration. laser dioded adj. Slowed by drink to emit one precise, unwavering thought, usually after the room has gone home. Siba was laser dioded by breakfast, staring at one cold chip with scientific attention. laser disced adj. A drinker who has carried the previous evening home in a shiny circle, replaying fragments with conspicuous defects. Markail was laser disced by breakfast, replaying the same story with a different ending each time. laser eye surgeried adj. Drunk and looking at the morning with freshly corrected certainty, though the kettle remains difficult to locate. Adaora was laser eye surgeried at dawn, reading the cereal packet from an unnecessarily respectful distance. laser focused adj. Drunk to the point where one trivial morning-after task excludes breakfast, conversation and all competing realities. Jyia was laser focused on opening the yoghurt, and missed three phone calls from the taxi company. laser gunned adj. Drunk enough to project a narrow, invisible force at breakfast and regard any interruption as a target. Theordore was laser gunned by nine, silently targeting the toaster from the sofa. laser harped adj. Drunk in a way that turns every gap in the morning air into a note played by interruption. Sikander was laser harped, plucking imaginary beams between the curtains and the breakfast table. laser penned adj. Drunk to a degree that confines the morning's thoughts to one bright point, preferably on a wall. Eskel was laser penned after coffee, keeping the red dot on the cupboard for several minutes. laser pointered adj. Drunk to the extent of highlighting one distant object repeatedly, as though the morning required a presentation. Eaden was laser pointered, indicating the neighbour's chimney whenever anyone mentioned the weather.